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Any adivse for dealing with my sisters boyfriend - she just had a baby- he doesnt work we cant stand him.

He doesnt work - Drives her car all the time - She worked up until the day she went in to have the baby and he has not worked since June - He is rude and loud - She listens to eveything he says - and gets really mad if we question him
I feel helpless!

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AuntB23

Asked by AuntB23 at 10:09 AM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • There really isnt anything you can do if she wants to be with him. It is really annoying, but sometimes people just have to learn on their own.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 10:09 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Unfortunately, it is very difficult right now for you to tell her that the man she picked to be her baby's father is worthless. If you start telling her that he is bad and start pointing at his bad qualities you will only be alienating her. I would just try to be there for her for when the fairy tale story is over. Sometimes it is difficult to accept that we made a bad mistake and it is even more difficult when someone is there to say I told you so. Just be there for her and be supportive, because with time she will need you for moral support. Also, the more you tell her that he is worthless the more you are making her to alienate herself from you. Be patient and understand and with time she will see it with her own eyes.
    SimplyCreative

    Answer by SimplyCreative at 10:13 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • All you can do is to be friendly toward him. As long as she cares about him, anything you would say or do against him would only hurt and anger her.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:13 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Tell him to get a freaking job and quit being a dead beat dad. Seriously I would.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 10:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I'm sorry for you and your sister.. There isn't anything YOU can do.. She will have to do it.. It will take time, she will learn.. I did.. It took me 16yrs. Just be there for her and the baby. When she finally decides to do something she will feel soo FREE!! I wish you all the best..
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:18 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Theres nothing you can do but grin and bare it. Its her choice and unfortunately she will have to learn her life lessons and from her mistakes. If you say anything negative about him it could also make her want to stay with him all the more.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:18 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • It was not as hard when there was not a baby involved. You want to make sure the baby is ok.
    AuntB23

    Answer by AuntB23 at 10:18 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • You are helpless! Helpless to fix it. Your sister needs to move out on her own if the bf is coming around your place because she lives there. If she is underage, you can sit down with him and explain the rules of the house. If they arent't living there, sit down with both of them and review the rules. Do your best to welcome him so you maintain contact with your sister. She may decide he is a loser and work it through. She will need your support if she does so stay close and quiet once you make you wishes known.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 10:26 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • There's really nothing you can do without hurting your relationship with your sister. She has a child now hopefully things will become more clear to both of them! Hopefully she'll see that he needs to smarten up and support his family. With any luck he'll see it too! Just be patient and supportive. I wouldn't get involved unless she or the baby is in danger.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 10:28 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • You can't do anything. He's your sister's boyfriend, she needs to grow a spine and deal with him. She has a baby to think about now!
    PeytonNBella

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 10:49 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

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