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Why do I feel like neither one of my parents want to spend time with me?

My parents are divorced. Neither of them come to spend any amount of time with me at my house, they act as if they are coming to another country when they come )both are about 20 min away. My father gave me the feeling he was not interested in having a get together for christmas and I think my mother lied to me and threw away the sweet I gave her and my step dad for christmas. She is very weird about food and I know she has thrown others gifts away when they give it to her... but come on I'm your daughter and don't lie to me! It's very hurtful to know that both of my parents don't really want to spend time with me. Does my house stink or something? I do have cats, but I keep my house very clean. Thanks for letting me vent....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think I would ask them instead of wondering about it. They may not even realize it hurts you this much.If they won't give you an answer, I would stop asking them and let them wonder why you don't ask anymore.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 11:17 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Some parents just suck at parenting. Yours sound like those kinds of parents. Honestly when my mom and dad where deciding not to be active in my life, and they still aren't as much as I would like, I adopted new people that I was important to. It hurts, you can't escape that pain, but it's your choice to let it get you down or to do what you can to make your life as good as you can.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 11:17 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Thank you girls... It's coming to the point where I do want to ask, but I'm scared. My mom hates confrontation and honestly I do too... my dad is a whole other story... I've always been the "other" daughter.... so that I can understand.... you're right though that I need to not dwell on it though....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • if it really bothers you then you should talk to them. Sit down with them and let them know that your feelings were very hurt and that you feel you deserve to spend some time with the people that you love. If the guilt trip doesn't work then I don't see much hope, maybe they're just too self centered. Find people that do care about you and spend time with them. It will help
    kristal2146

    Answer by kristal2146 at 11:25 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Its kinda the same way with me, but mostly with my dad. My parents were married for 21 years and split up about 5 years ago. My mom left him for someone else. My mom has an awesome bf so whenever we need anything they are here, but spend alot of time with his family and we dont talk much unless I call them. Then my dad got a gf who is sneaky, and took over my dads house (the house I grew up in), so I hate even going there because it doesnt even feel like im in the same house and my dad hardly never calls me, but spends tons of time with his gf's kids and their kids. (his "grandchildren", even though he has 7 grandkids from me and my sisters. I just came to realize that they have their own lives, so I might as well enjoy mine.
    asholan_07

    Answer by asholan_07 at 11:25 AM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • It may be a mid life "crisis" they are going through.. kids are out of the house, they want there youth back.. try taking them out to a nice place (restuarant, bar, etc) and express that you understand their need for space, but you miss them sometimes. I'm sure they will come around soon enough... sometimes parents just want to be kids again, it's not a bad thing, but it can be hurtful when you think they don't care. Good Luck
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:18 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Just ask why they haven't been around and don't be offended when they answer.
    I know where you are coming from, I have two older sisters, my parents see both of them 10xs more then they see me. I've learned to just let the feels go, my sister's need more help and aren't afraid to ask for it. My husband and I would rather find a way to help ourselves.
    PeytonNBella

    Answer by PeytonNBella at 1:39 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

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