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I've caught my parents addressing themselves as Mama and Dadda to my 19 month old...

Many months ago they were doing it on a regular basis and I asked them "nicely" to stop because they are going to confuse her. Well, yesterday we stopped by for a short visit and my mom was telling my daughter to give her sippy cup to "daddy".

I didn't say anything because I did not want a big confontation in from of my dd. I got home and vented to my DH and boy is he PISSED OFF!

How do I confront them with this without creating drama. My mother is very controlling and no matter what I say she will start yelling.

Any thoughts on this? Does anyone else find this FREAKING WEIRD?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • You need to go over with your husband and sit down and tell them you feel hurt ( don't say you are hurting my feelings say YOU FEEL HURT) when they use "mama" and "dada" because you have waited so long to be called that and it takes away from the fun.

    Then say "let's come up with some special names for the two of you."

    Like for instance...Gigi, Gammie, Nana, Gma, Gpop, pops, papa etc..

    If they are rude and disrespecting then say you won't be visiting until they treat you with respect. Make sure you stay calm and firm. No cursing show you mean business and are an adult and want respect.

    I hope that helps.

    Answer by J9Mommy at 1:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Yeah my MIL use to try to get our daughter to say grandma but she would say mama it was like momma to me and i would hate it.. so i practiced with her all the time till she finally said grandma..THANK GOD! But your mom shouldnt do this at all... thast weird... I would be mad too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Yes I find it FREAKING WEIRD! LOL Why don't you have your daughter call them nana and papa? Would that make your mother happy? Why does she want her daughters daughter to call her mother anyways? Most mothers are happy to be grandma? Weird!!! Try asking her what else she would like to be called rather then your name!

    Answer by CMead02 at 1:35 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • omg id be pissed.. but i would call her out on it right away.. when shes doing it be like oh i didn't know you concieved and gave birth to her!! or just be like MOM YOUR NOT HER MAMA YOUR GRANDMA, NANA OR WHATEVER THEY CALL HER. Call her out when she does it. i'd be pissed lol im glad my moms not ignorant and knows better

    Answer by krazyash023 at 1:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • when they do it correct them in front of your child. then tell them not to before they leave. do this every single time they do it.

    Answer by cnelson82 at 2:16 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I agree 100% with cnelson. I would say it nicely so not to start an argument. They are wrong and they know it. I would never do that to my children. Start calling them Granny and Grandpa unless they can come up with something better for themselves

    Answer by Kat122 at 2:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I agree with Kat122. My parents have never done anything like that, and never would, but I always make it a point to call them "Granny" and "Grandpa" when my kids are around instead of "Mom" and "Dad" so that it won't confuse my kids.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:39 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • my friend had to deal eith this same issue with her parents. yes, very weird.

    Answer by jbirchard at 4:05 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • That IS freaking weird! But you just have to be honest about it.

    When Hunter was born, my dad told me he didn't want to be called Grandpa. It made him feel old. He wanted Hunter to call him Uncle Dave.
    This seriously revolted me. Once I referred to him as Grandpa in the presence of Hunter and he actually got MAD AT ME!!
    So finally, I came right out and told him how I felt about it. I told him I didn't want to confuse the snot out of Hunter. I said "Dad, you're my father, and whether you like it or not, you're Hunter's grandfather. I want Hunter to know who you are and a grandfather plays a more important role than an uncle. Plus I think 'Uncle Dave' is plain creepy and gross."
    We compromised. Hunter calls my father "Papa" now. It fits.

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 4:25 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I think your mom and dad are having old-age issues. they don't want to be "thought of" as grandparents because they don't FEEL old. The term "grandma" or "grandpa" implies OLD.

    But it's time for you to put them in their place and let them know how immature they're acting. YOU ARE THE MAMA your mother is the GRANDMA. Like it or not.
    There are other names your baby can call them. My son's other grandparents are called Memaw and Bepaw by all the kids.

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 4:28 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

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