Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Child support - my ex is asking me to reduce payments...

He can't get a good job because his license is suspended. His brother has offered him a good job in WA with a place to live. His argument is that he will be able to get on his feet and then start paying. Does anyone know if I can suspend or reduce the child support payments for a period of time without dropping the case? Can I even drop the case? Has anyone been in this situation - the system doesn't seem to work if he can't get a job and pay his rent and car if they take so much of his check... Am I just being bitter - cause I'm not trying to be.

Answer Question

Asked by dbaesman at 1:44 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Why would you reduce the pmts that means you baby goes without, they based his child support by the percentage of how much he's getting paid now. You can get it lowerd but if all of the sudden he starts making a lot more money you cant change it back immeditaly you have to wait so many years inbetween each claim.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I feel that everyone should have the opportunity to better themselves. If this will help your ex do better then you and your daughter will benefit through on time CS.

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 1:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I think you can just take it before a judge for a quick overview and have them change it. He's still willing to pay. I'm not 100% though. I know my brother just got his payments reduced due to a pay cut at work, but I don't know if that was just because they take a percentage out or because he asked to.

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 1:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • its not your babys fault that he "isn't on his feet" NOW. don't reduce. that just lets him slack off. who knows what he'd be doing with that money.. he might spend iton booze and cigaretts or otherwomen. ;)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 1:53 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I wouldn't reduce or suspend the payments. He may use that against you later. It's not your problem that this guy got his license suspended. He needs to help support his child.

    Answer by feesharose at 2:12 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I have the best idea for you.... since the money is coming to you thru the court, then instead of going the legal route why not have him to pay the alloted amount and then you give him some of it back if that's what you want to do? You'd have a lot of legal expense as would he to go back to court to change it and later, you couldn't change it back so instead of trusting him to pay more later, he'd be trusting you to give him some back instead. If the job is a long ways away, then maybe you could send him a check for the alloted amount you've agreed to "discount" him with, and he'd agree to not cash it till the child support check clears and if he cashes too early even once, it's a deal breaker.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • you can drop the case but then you wont get anything and its not your choice how much you get its the states so thats his problem

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I would leave things as is. Some men will give their child's mother any sob story they can come up with to get out of paying. He may be telling the truth, but you don't know that. And if you cut him that slack, he may find he likes having that extra money to spend and fight to keep it at that lower amount. That's not fair to your child. If he's really that desperate, he'll figure out something or he'll just stop paying, and if he truly wants to get on his feet and support his child, he'll find a job and begin paying again, and pay extra to catch back up.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:35 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I agree with lisa_ann_p That was just what I was thinking. If he is sincere in his trying to start over, he will gratefully accept your generous offer. If he gets angry, then he has no intention of being honorable and probably isn't planning on "bettering himself". Rather, he only wants to keep more of his money and doesn't care about taking care of his child. Please, please try this. You will see his true colors.

    Answer by casperskitty at 3:39 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Thanks for you input - it is very helpful. My thinking is - I have a good job and am able to support the kids on my own for over 3 years now - luckily. At this point I think he is never going to be able to pay the amount he owes (over $50K) at $400/mo with is $8.00/hr job he has now, rent and bus passes are his priority. If I let the case go and anything that he does pay is cake. He is not paying anything currently and every time I see him he asks about it, he got the kids christmas gifts and takes them to the movies or ?? once per week. What am I teaching my kids?

    Answer by dbaesman at 1:04 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.