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Why is it thean men can't hug or give close contact without it leading to sex. It's actually a huge turn off that I can tell the only reason my hubby is cuddly is if he is expecting sex out of it. It makes me fell used. I need that closeness and he doesn't seem to understand. He says I don't come onto him but honestly he does enough of that for the both of us! I'm just not in the mood to come onto him b/c it seem like that is all our relationship sex!

Anyone else going through this or have advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Well, come to a compromise.Men liked to be touched too, just for the feeling of being close.Just a touch of your hand , a kiss on the cheek,just a little something so he won't feel like there is nothing there at all. This is just the opposite of what I mostly see on here. Their men hardly touch them at all, and you don't like it because yours does. Can't win for losing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • been there unfortunately i havent found the cure for it..dont know if there even is one..sometimes i just put my foot down and hold it from him until he satisfys MY needs. hell get over it. ha!

    Answer by idebusashes at 1:57 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • 1st annonymous reply..........well, I can't be looked down on for wanting a different kind of touch though. I have made him aware of this and he still does nothing to that effect. I try to cuddle with him and he goes straight for my pants or boobs (sorry tmi).

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • He says I don't come onto him but honestly he does enough of that for the both of us!   

    LOL, show him how it feels. Do what he does and see what he says or does.I mean, do exactly what he does.


    Answer by Kat122 at 2:09 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Maybe he thinks that when you try to touch him since you do it so infrequent (I'm assuming), that it means that you are in the mood? I've found that the more I touch my hubby casually the healthier it is for our sex life. Who knew men WANT a woman to initiate, to just touch them and make them feel good too. Little touch here and there goes a long way when there's no hidden agenda. If you tell him to stop touching tho, he may take it literally (I made that mistake and soon realized they take us at our word until we tell them otherwise).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:12 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Check out for some answers to your questions.

    Answer by PamJM at 2:27 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • My hubby is like that. He's ALWAYS in the mood for sex. If I snuggle up close to him, he'll get horny. If he does it to me, I know he wants to get laid.


    You don't HAVE to put out each and every time your hubby gives you a hug. Honest. Hold him and snuggle and completely ignore his raging hard on. Eventually he'll relax and just let you fall sound asleep in his arms.

    Answer by kimberleee382 at 4:17 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • start turning him down all the time it worked for me he finally is nice just to be nice if you don't want to that is ok he has a hand

    Answer by lalasha at 7:16 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

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