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i have a kid and another on the whay how do i help my 19 month old not be jelles off the new baby?

i dont wount my doghter to be jellse or hert the new baby how do i help her thoufth this?

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newwomen

Asked by newwomen at 2:46 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I think you need to help her by letting her join in with everything she can with the new baby, as in letting her help bathe the new baby, and anything else that it's possible for her to do. Also make a big deal of her being a big sister and how great that is, we got our eldest a t-shirt which said I'm going to be a big brother when his sisters were born. And share all your stages of pregnancy with her :), like let her feel your stomach and stuff. Good Luck with this.
    HNK11

    Answer by HNK11 at 2:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • get her excited about the new baby. ask if she wants a baby. and buy her a new baby doll so she can learn she has to be gentle. when you next childs born she'll already know she has to be nice and loving. she'll catch on but at some point your children are gonna be jealouss of the of the other but until that time comes i wouldnt worry about it. and if your oldest daughter doesnt like the idea of a new baby i dont think she'll hurt the baby. i have a niece and nephew and if my niece feels my nephews getting too much attention she doesnt hurt him she resorts to being a baby again so you know she wants attention.
    lovencasper5307

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 2:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • and anon you aint have to yell at her for spelling wrong some people arent good in that area my aunts very smart in real life but her computer skills suck and everything just goes away
    lovencasper5307

    Answer by lovencasper5307 at 2:52 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Ask your OB about sibling classes. They are similar to your birth classes but they talk about issues with first born children and the new baby. There are also a lot of books about this and there is a lot of info devoted to this problem on the dr spock web site. Good luck.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Check the closely spaced siblings group. If you nurse make a nursing basket so that it can be a fun bonding time for the oldest too. Put toys/snack/movie that you ONLY use during nursing. I agree with the pp about including the oldest in things. Also try not to make the baby a "no zone" for her. Good Luck. Mine are 16 month apart... it's a blessing for us. They are very close and into the same toys for the most part :)
    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 2:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I did though, didn't I loven? :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I have to say that with them that close the group may really help you. It's a bit different than them being further because your toddler wont understand what "Your going to have a little brother or sister!" means. My oldest son used to pat my belly and say Bebe. But he had NO idea what that meant and when he finally got here- it was a bit surprising. Just hang in there and know there are resources on this site for you. After a bit the only real "difficulties" are the logistical things- getting them both in and out of the car etc. Once that stuff is down pat, it's mostly cake.

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 3:00 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I've heard the baby doll helps. Letting them touch your tummy and talking about the sibling helped my daughter I think but there is a 4 1/2 yr difference. Once the baby comes it's trickier because they want to be in your lap too and if you're like me you're afraid they'll hurt the baby etc and I went about it wrong and was afraid to let my older one get close to the baby at first. I think there was a lot of jelousy and resentment because I couldn't hold them both etc.. but let the little one feel the baby moving in your tummy so there'll be some understanding why there's no more bouncing on the tummy, can't carry her all the time but do make time to sit and cuddle together etc so she doesn't think she's being pushed aside for the new baby.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:10 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • We have removed at least one answer from this question. Moms are looking for responses from other members that address the question they have asked. Please don't post judgmental answers, they're not appreciated and will be removed by the CafeMom Team.

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    CafeMom Admin

    Answer by CafeMom Admin at 6:19 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

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