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Has anyone gone through Premarital Counseling?

My fiance and I are planning to get married in September and I've been married once before and I'd really like for this to work out so I'm considering asking him if he'll go to premarital counseling with me. I'd like to know what I can expect from each session and from the process overall. I'd also like it if someone could tell me how much I can expect this to cost. If anyone has already attended it I'd love to hear some personal stories. Thanks!

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tcross

Asked by tcross at 5:20 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • We did through our church...it was pretty small-time, though. We took a test and then went over the results. It pointed out some compatibility issues that we hadn't really discussed, which was nice. There are other things you can do, retreats and such, that I would have loved to have done had their been any going on at the time. The cost varies (some were free!). I guess you just need to do some research into what's available to you.

    I would recommend it though...if you can't spend a few evenings or even a weekend on your marriage...I don't think I need to finish that sentence. Good job to you, though, for working to get it right from the start!
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 5:24 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • That is an awesome idea and i think it will really help you. Do you belong to a church? Usually this is done with a pastor at a church. I really recommend the following book too, if you read it together and put it's principles into action you guys will be happy together.

    Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:28 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • yes, and it was useless. My personal view, if it works for you great. Did not for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • My DH and I were counseled for free by the man who married us. It was really helpful because we didn't know each other that long and we never lived together or slept together before we were married. It helped us get to know each other.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 5:59 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • We did not, but DH and his ex did. Notice the word ex. They went through the church. Counseling won't help you unless you really want it to. If you are willing to be wrong, and he is willing to be wrong, and you are both willing to work on it then great. But if you want someone to tell you that he is the problem (like DHs ex did and a lotta good that did because he is the one who has had a successful relationship since and she has had two more failed ones) then it will be pointless. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I did this with my first marriage and we were told that we needed to talk about our expectations of one another and any differences that we may have and if we were willing to compromise on anything.Needless to say, he STILL ended up cheating on me, more than once, and I eventually divorced him. I am engaged now and I am NOT planning on having us go through pre-maritial counseling. Ther's nothing wrong with it, but it just wasn't something that helped with my last marriage. My ex obviously was just saying all of the things that he knew I wanted to hear.
    Dark_Princess_2

    Answer by Dark_Princess_2 at 9:07 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

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