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Can somebody please help me with a husband that is not happy about my being preg.?

We found out on Dec. 26th that we are preg with our 2nd child and my husband is less than thrilled about it. He said he is and isn't happy. How do I deal with a comment like that? My heart is breaking and I have no idea what to say to him. We have not been getting along very well lately and this has just seemed to make it worse. We were not trying to get preg., but not doing anything to prevent it either. Please help me.

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txmomof1

Asked by txmomof1 at 8:23 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (9)
  • Is it a financial reason he is not happy?

    Had you talked about expanding your family?

    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 8:26 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Why is he unhappy? Get to the root of the problem, THEN deal with it accordingly. Just trying to get him excited is way too much stress for you, you need to try to correct the problem (or at least help him figure out a way to deal with it). Good luck!
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 8:27 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • My boyfriend wasnt thrilled either. He wanted me to have an abortion. We have been together for 2 1/2 years. I always thought that i could if I got pregnant..but when it happened that was def. NOT an option. So I told him I wasnt doing that. That he had his choice he could choose to walk and sign away his rights or he could be a father to this baby and stay in its life. Well he is now starting to get more and more excited about it. He still snaps every once inawhile which really hurts but you can tell when he talks to people about the baby he is just glowing. So I would say to just try to give your husband some time to get use to it. And hopefully the further you get the happier he will be. And if you werent doing anything to prevent it...then its something that he is going to have to except...and if he doesnt then you really dont need him.
    Good Luck hun
    HayHayMarie2009

    Answer by HayHayMarie2009 at 8:31 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Im sorry your spouse isnt as happy as you are about this pregnancy. I personally dont think there is anything you can do. It is him who have the problem not you. I hope things change for the better :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Give him a little time. Men process things differently. If you aren't getting along, have you considered some form of marriage counseling? How is your communication? Can you try to explain how his comments make you feel? If you want a suggestion for a workbook for the 2 of you to do together, let me know. :) I have a wonderful one.
    reflect1light

    Answer by reflect1light at 8:42 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Give it time, and don't push. If you tricked him, then you have reason to be guilty. If this was a mistake, then just try to deal with your own needs. There is a reason why it takes so long to "grow" a baby. There are adjustments that your whole family will have to make. Don't keep harping on the subject, and try to make him happy. Just let it happen naturally. You can't change this situation, you will have time to get ready and so will he. Now, if there are reasons that he has to doubt you, then you will have to clean up your mess. Also, consider why you were having marital problems to begin with. Were you trying to buy him back? Best of luck to you. This doesn't seem like an easy time for you.
    Scimecamommy

    Answer by Scimecamommy at 8:47 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Its A shock to Each of you! It takes times and things will happens as they're suppose to!! Hopefully he can grow into liking the idea of A New Blessing!! Its still new! Try to work on your relationship & I hope Everything works out for theBest! With hard times around many would feel this Way!! I'm hoping for the Best for your entire Family! I wish you A healthy, happy, safe, comfrtable, easy pregnancy...
    Angellinda

    Answer by Angellinda at 9:32 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Does he know why he's not happy about it? Could it just be that he feels it's too soon for another or is feeling insecure financially? I know I was less than thrilled when I found out I was pg with #2. I even said something like, "Look what you did to me! I didn't want to have another already!" Of course, it didn't take long for me to get used to the idea of having another, and I loved that baby just as much as my first. She's now a beautiful 13 yr. old, and I'm expecting baby #8 in March!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

  • hello hun,im in a slightly similar situation,i was about to get divorced a week before xmas,we decided after a painful unclear 48 hours to give it our last shot,immeditly after i think i concieved,i know im pregnant and i know he wont be as thrilled,he suspects but we haven't addressed it.sure though i will have to let him know,he will be upset,but its life,i know financially we cant have another baby,but its going to come,so hes either in or out either way i wish the best for you.
    tzingillusion21

    Answer by tzingillusion21 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 3, 2009

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