Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Next Question, Please »
Answers / Debate / Parenting Debate
1 Bump

Going through a custody battle right now!? NEED HELP & INFO!

So I have a month old son with my ex boyfriend who kicked me out 8 months pregnant...haven't had much contact with him since then except the HALF HOUR he seen his son in the hospital!! pathetic huh?...not to mention hasnt helped me with getting anything except a package of diapers and wipes..WE have not talked for about 3 weeks now..no texting or calling..no communication AT ALL..I did go FILE for child support couple weeks back..and I recently get these papers in the mail from the ex boyfriend saying LAWYER that he FILED saying he wants joint custody!! What exactly is "JOINT CUSTODY"...and how would he win that in court? would he have to still pay child support? because I'm pretty sure hes doing that to get out of paying..idk...but what I am asking is what is joint custody...who would get my son..who would pay support...etc?!? Thanks for those who can help meee get a better understanding!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Sep. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (15)
  • It depends, if he's asking for joint "legal" custody, then he just shares in the decision making, if it's joint "physical" custody, then he wants to share equal time with the baby. You should see an attorney, because not all states are the same, and I may be giving you the wrong info. I honestly don't think a judge is going to rule on anything until the baby is a bit older, but you should get your facts from an attorney. GL.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:49 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • You need an attorney now! Most states there can only be joint custody if both parties agree. Most likely he will get visitation but you need solid legal advice.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:50 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • I am no lawyer so I suggest legal advice but you need to file for primary custody that way he still has to pay CS....This was advice I was given by a lawyer friend. If he pays CS he may take visits even if its just to spite you. In my case their dad will see them but I have them more...we are going through a breakuo now....
    serenityspeaks

    Answer by serenityspeaks at 10:57 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • What exactly is primary custody and how do I file for that..bc I have already went in at filed for child support..and he must have got the papers then turned around got a lawyer to fight for joint custody!?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:00 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • I agree with previous posts. Get legal advice. I wouldn't agree that a judge would grant equal time for an infant but its not unheard of. As far as child support, that in most states is based on the income of both parents and how much time the non-custodial parent has. In my state, the child support formula has to be worked out even if the parents agree that they don't want child support. My ex and I have equal time but because he made twice what I make he still has to pay a little bit of child support.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:03 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • You already are the primary custodial parent because y'all weren't married. Unmarried dads don't have any rights till they take it to court.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:05 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • Ok so DID "YOU AGREE" to have equal time?..I would like to let him have visitation rights and pay child support with me being the main person taking care and watching my son!?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:06 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • in my state Fla. joint custody only means he has baby every other week end one day a week and yes he still pays child support -and it is sent up that you share holidays -meaning you get the child say for thanksgiving, the next yr he does -you get the child on your birthday or mothers day even if it is his weekend ,he get the child on his birthday and fathers day even if it is your weekend my son has this they split Christmas 1/2 day one yr you get the child in mornings and he get the child afternoons the next yr it is reversed -who ever has custody of the child they must let the other know when schools, meet the teacher is once they start school any school function going on  -oh and when schools out for the summer one get the child for 1/2 the summer the other the other 1/2 -this can be modified if the baby is an infant -talk to your lawyer or look up share custody for your state --keep tract of it so not to get confused
    needtochat

    Answer by needtochat at 11:10 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • Yes, I agreed to equal time and I totally regret it. But, I was also going through a divorce and wasn't thinking clearly. I regret it because my ex and I don't get along well enough to be able to talk about parenting issues, etc. It does help having the other parent involved but only if you can do it without the arguing. Yes, I would agree that a traditional arrangement with your ex would be better since your infant is so young. I'm pretty sure the judge would agree too.
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2011

  • Joint custody just means that you are both legally allowed to make decisions for the baby and that you are equally parents. Visitation is how often your ex sees the baby and I have never heard of a judge taking a newborn away from the mother who is fit. I would call him and ask what he expects as far as visitation, this might give you an idea about what you are up against.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 1:27 AM on Sep. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
Answers / Debate / Parenting Debate

Active Posts in All Groups