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Help. Sleeping difficulties. NO BASHING.

We have a 3 1/2 year old. She is a smart child, creative, well spoken, but, extremely stong willed. The problem is at bedtime, she REFUSES to go to bed by flat out saying "I am not going to bed, I am not tired" and it seems to be an almost nightly thing. We do have a night time routin of bath, favorite DVD, three books read then bedtime. She loses favorite toys because of refusing to go to sleep for discipline. Then she wll do things like hit me in the stomach because she knows mommy has been sick (stomach condition) and will pull on my clothes, etc. I will eventually lock her out of our room (her room is across the hall from ours) because she will not stay in her bed and she will hit my bedroom door with toys while its closed. What is the easy way to get a child like this to sleep? She usually is up having a tamtrum till around 10 to 11 pm.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on Jan. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Also - it sounds like she's overtired. When does she wake up in the morning? I saw she's not napping - can you get some 'down time' in during the day?

    Have you tried giving her some control over bedtime routines? Let her feel like this is on her terms as much as it can be. let her pick whether she takes a shower or a bath. let her decide if she uses the blue towel or the green. Ask her what will help her get ready for bed nicely. With strong willed kids it's easy to lose patience but then things snowball. She tries to grab more control and you lose more control. :) It's not about bed time it's about a power struggle. Don't let it be a struggle. Give acceptable parameters and ask her to make choices within those.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:52 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • have you considered just letting her stay up a little later, like 10. depending on how early she is waking up and if she still takes a nap, she may really not be tired yet.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • First...correct her. Second...put her back into her bed. Keep doing this until she gets the picture. If she hits you she should apologize and know that it is wrong. She is three years old and is trying your last nerve. Don't let her get the upper hand on you.
    Southerncharmes

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 10:46 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Wow! It sounds like you have your hands full! Does she take naps during the day? If so, how many and how late do they occur? That could be a reason for her not being sleepy. Do you think there could be a reason why she doesnt want to go to sleep? Is she scared of something, maybe? Whatever you do, you cant put up with her hitting you in the stomach, especially with your condition. Good luck with everything!
    GraciesMomLJP

    Answer by GraciesMomLJP at 10:49 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Have you ever seen Supernanny? Her bedtime method worked like a charm for us. It takes some perseverance, but we saw a huge difference in a matter of 3 days. You should check it out (or look it up on the website). Also, I think I would eliminate the DVD portion of the bedtime routine. Watching TV before bed can actually make it more difficult for them to fall asleep. Good luck!
    owensmom17

    Answer by owensmom17 at 10:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I am trying! It is hard. I hate taking away her toys. Usually, she says sorry for not going to bed when she finally does.

    We did extend her bedtime. "It starts with I am hungry, I am thirty" I am need to go to the bathroom....." to extend her bedtime. She is tired and it is obvious by the circles under her eyes from trying to stay up and not sleeping enough. She does not nap at all during the day. That stopped when she was a year old.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I know I'm going to get bashed, but I think your daughter needs a good spanking. We got spanked a few times and then knew better. Locking her out of the room is giving her all the power, she needs to know that you're the boss and clearly she doesn't respect you as the parent or adult.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 10:51 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Does she take a nap during the day? If so, try making it earlier in the day. Also, correct her and don't give in. When you set a punishment make sure that you go all the way through with it no matter what she does. And have you tried time out?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • Call Nanny 911 JKiddin.Is she taking naps,if so cut them out,no sugar before bed,or caffeine.Good luck.
    Val504

    Answer by Val504 at 10:55 PM on Jan. 2, 2009

  • I know I'm going to get bashed, but I think your daughter needs a good spanking. We got spanked a few times and then knew better. Locking her out of the room is giving her all the power, she needs to know that you're the boss and clearly she doesn't respect you as the parent or adult.


    I am not going to bash you at all. We have tried this method. Would you like to know my child's response? She laughs and asks me to spank her again. Spanking works for some children, mine is not one of them.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Jan. 2, 2009