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Are IVF Twins as Special as "Real" Twins?
September 1, 2009 at 7:11 AM by Cafe Suzanne - Comments (38)
A friend of mine just told me that our thirty-something-ish former co-worker, L., is pregnant with twins adding, "and they're not IVF twins!" I'm sure this is the way the story was told to her because my friend did IVF herself and wouldn't have cared a whit how our old co-worker got pregnant. Hmm, I wonder: Does L. feel inclined to tell everyone she knows that she conceived her awesome twosome the old-fashioned rather than the new-fangled way? And if so, why?
I think twins are awesome. I've always wanted them and I've got at least some chance of having them. If genetics has anything to do with it I'm golden—I've got twins on both sides of my family (there are currently 15 sets). The chances of conceiving twins also goes up if you're older (which I am ... sigh). Still, I know if I had twins, most people would assume science played a bigger role in my pregnancy than Mother Nature. But I'm not sure it matters.
It's clear that with the advent of IVF, the rarity of twins just ain't what it used to be, but does that make these ART twins any less special?
Do you think IVF twins are somehow not as "special" as "real" twins? Do you take it for granted that older moms with twins had them via IVF? Does it matter?
FILED UNDER: ivf, multiples, twins & more
Comments:
Every kid is special to me but as far as the twin term I really think that is more awsome when it happens naturaly but IVF is not so much because you sort of expect those things to happens as side efects of fertility treatment LOL.
Isn't conception and birth amazing as it is? Does it matter how it came to be?
I am having twins, and I didn't have IVF, however I think it's no one's business to ask me how I had them and people ask. It's the first thing they say...strangers ask this, extended family. If I want to share, I will share.
This is how the convo usually goes:
Person: Congrats pregnant! What are you having?
Me: Twins! Boy and girl!
Person: IVF?
Me: No, we had SEX!
It ususally shuts them up.
Here is my biggest issue: Women who have to go through fertility treatments, be it Clomid, Gonal, IUI, IVF, whatever go through many emotions. It can be a grueling process, sometimes years long, very emotional, and deeply personal. I think it's important to show sensitivity and not assume. Let the mom tell you. In this case, the mom wanted to share because maybe she had the same situation I had.
Babies are miracles no matter how they come into this world.
yep
I think it is something to be proud of to have twins the natural way. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having help getting them with science or that those children are not as special as twins conceived the old fashion way. It is just a neat little fact for you. A cousin of mine is having triplets... all natural! Of course she is scared poopless, but she is proud, and I would be too!
But I do agree with MicheleZ. They are miracles no matter what. Who are we to say your babies are not as special because of how they came to be? Every baby is special!
i have a singleton..and a friend of mine had IDENTICAL twins...we had them all via IVF. the way in which we conceived them is somewhat a hot topic especially in the religious aspect. and although we arent ashamed to scream from the rooftops that we had ours via IVF, i agree its not something anyone should ask. i generally make the info known when people get a little too nonchelant about the whole process. having medical interventions in order to get pregnant only makes the whole process THAT much more amazing and special for us. any child is a miracle, yes. and if anyone needs to tell that i "cheated" somehow to conceive then thats ok, maybe they feel more special since they didnt need help. one can only speculate the causes. but honestly, if i never told you....youd never know. as for the "old fashioned way", if i could have done it that way.....believe me i would have. i took no joy in months and months of painful injections and procedures, only to have a very slight chance of conception. i pinned all my hopes and 15 grand on the "new fangled way". doesnt matter how it came about, he is here and he is AMAZING! so you keep telling yourself you are more special..lol i know that my son was loved before he was ever even conceived, i planned him for years!!
Why on earth should it matter "how" you get pregnant, with twins or otherwise? Is my baby less special because I used IVF to conceive? Not to me or my husband! I am so thankful for the amazing technology, doctors, and nurses who helped us achieve this wonderful miracle, and I don't feel at all ashamed that we didn't do it "the old fashioned way." Twins are wonderful and special, regardless of how they get into their mother's uterus.
What the hell kind of question is this?!!!!!!! My babies are just as special as any other set of twins, period! I cant believe this is even a "daily buzz".
LOL at MicheleZ! Yep, that would shut them up alright! Honestly, I dont' think it makes a different and I think it's rude for people to ask how your child was conceived. Twins are great- regardless of how they got there!
I don't even get why you should be proud that you are having twins the natural way, what are you proud of? The fact that you produced two eggs?
I'm proud of my education and how hard I worked, I'm not proud of my ability to produce eggs, lol.
I think it's silly, that anyone should prefer one set of twins over another. Now I think it'd be interesting to hear about triplets or quads that aren't IVF, just because it's so rare, but it doesn't make any of them more special.
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I guess maybe they mention it because its a really common question to twin moms. I have 6 year old twin boys. We had them young, but people still have asked if I took any kind of fertility treatments. I don't think it matters how someone becomes pregnant with their twins. I'm sure my twins would be equally special if I needed medical intervention to conceive them. It is more surprising when it happens spontaneously though!
Schleetle Sep. 1, 2009 at 8:05 AM