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"I Wish the Baby Were Dead"
October 20, 2009 at 2:21 PM by Cafe Cynthia - Comments (26)
Older siblings tend to show their "feelings" for the new baby differently.
I had a very unique way of expressing myself when my brother, five years younger, was born. I grabbed the hardest object I could find, which just so happened to be the detached metal scope from my father's hunting rifle, lying innocently in the junk drawer, go figure.
Then I proceeded into the room where the baby was sleeping in a pack 'n' play and bonked him on the head with it. Apparently not very hard because he was fine, and not even a fraction as hard as the wooden spoon that batted my hide when my mom discovered what I had done.
I still remember the scope incident clearly because it horrifies me just as much as it does you. How I didn't turn into a homicidal maniac I don't know. (Don't feel too sorry for my brother. Once he hit tween he surpassed me in weight and choke-hold ability and there was payback.)
Sibling jealousy of a new baby is something you can never predict. Most moms in a recent discussion the CafeMom Newcomer's Club said it's important to prepare siblings for the new arrival by involving them in decorating the nursery and other prep as much as possible. Then, when the new baby comes, to make sure to squeeze in a lot of one-on-one time together. Get them to help bathe, feed, and care for the baby so they feel a part of it all.
Other moms have their own horrific examples of sibling rivalry, though I'm convinced mine still tops them all.
amanda357's 5 year old daughter said, "I wish the baby were dead." Yikes.
Another mom in the thread said her child wanted his mom to "Leave the baby at the mall."
Yet another recalled the story of a friend, who had just had a new baby; her little boy screamed: "I'm sick of you (pointing to mom), sick of you (dad), and I want her (the new baby) out of here by tomorrow!"
How has your older child reacted to your new baby?
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FILED UNDER: discipline, safety, siblings
Comments:
That made me laugh too, aurorabunny.
About a week after my sister was born, I guess the novelty wore off. I asked my mom, Does she have to live here now? I was three. Hee hee.
When we told my oldest he was going to be a big brother for the first time, he was excited and spread the news for me. When we told him he was getting another little brother, he was about 6 and he got so mad! He shouted "No you're not having another baby!" So I decided to let him calm down and just said "ok." Then he stopped whining, looked at me and said "You are?" That made me laugh. Luckily, he got used to it and loves his little brothers now.
With mine being so far apart in age we don't see as much. I'm sure they are just better at hideing it! Our oldest does really really good with it. He was 5 when we were expecting baby #2. He was so looking forward to being a big brother, he couldn't wait to see "his" baby, to play with "his' baby. When he was born that little boy was so happy, he carried a picture my mom printed for him everywhere. He was crushed when his brother died 5 days later. I didn't realize at the time how much it affected him. Now at 14 he is a great big brother. He helps the 7yo with homework and will even do what he can to help with the baby. I don't know if it is the age differance or the past that makes him so good with them but I'll take it.
While I was pregnant, my son was talking about how he was upset because we couldn't get a dog now that we were having a baby. At one point he said, "We should destroy the baby." Of course, I told him how awful that was, even though I understood why he was upset.
When my second child was born... my firstborn didn't like the night crying...so he asked if his brother came with an mute button, and to use it!
That's about the only story I have... I haven't experienced alot of that sort of rivalry.
My boys were so excited to be getting a baby sister, they wanted me to have another one put in there while I was pregnant! --- They thought two would be cool...like one for each of them! 
my cousin, 2 and a half when here little sister was born, decided to practice her new potty skills on the new baby, and my aunt and uncle walked in to see her peeing on her sister.
When my youngest was first born it was a huge thing, my son was on only child and a total mama's boy and he had me all to himself all the time..he used to hit his brother in the forehead every chance he got before, his brother is now almost 3 months old and he loves his to death, he calls him brother instead of his name, which I would think would be easier since it is Ronie..anyhow, he kisses him and hugs him..the only problem I have now if he tries to pick him up..he can't but I am terrified that one day while I am in the bathroom or something he will try, get him a feww inches off the ground and drop him...
My brother and I are 6 years apart. After a couple of weeks I asked my mom if we could trade him in for a sister. She said no LOL
My kids are 10 and 11 months so not a lot of rivalry. She's actually a GREAT big sister! She wanted me to have a girl and we were supposed to find out the sex on her birthday. Due to some issues we found out a few weeks earlier and she wasn't pleased. When we went back on her birthday she said...oh please let it be a girl this time. Then of course when it wasn't she sat with her arms crossed pouting. When he was smaller I caught her trying to put him in some of her bigger baby clothes and headbands when I would leave the room LOL
Dd was 2 when i got preg. with ds -- we kept telling her there was a baby in my tummy ( though i'm not sure she believed us) but after he was born--it was love at first sight --she came to the hospital and cried not because mommy had to stay, but because baby did--those 3 days were very hard for her--even now, she calls herself mommy --lol --She's never had a tinge of jealousy--she's in total love--but i'm sure it will pass when he's getting into her stuff.
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Yet another recalled the story of a friend, who had just had a new baby; her little boy screamed: "I'm sick of you (pointing to mom), sick of you (dad), and I want her (the new baby) out of here by tomorrow!"
That made me totally crack up! The "I wish the baby was dead" one...yeah that's a little frightening. I don't know, my son is an only child, but I am told that when I was a baby my older sister would just nonchalantly bop me on the head with whatever she happened to have in her hand every single time she walked past my playpen. That probably explains a lot.
aurorabunny Oct. 20, 2009 at 3:33 PM