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The REAL Talk About the Birds and the Bees
November 13, 2008 at 3:45 PM by Cafe Kierna - Comments (3)
photo by ashncarson
The way I see it, the birds and the bees conversation should happen in two phases: the intro phase which happens anywhere between 4 and 7 when a child starts asking those initial, "Where do babies come from?" questions, and the you-can't-run-from-this-conversation-anymore phase, when puberty is clearly in the house.
An anonymous mom asks, "Do you tell a 10 year old what a wet dream is? Her son actually asked her about it, and she couldn't find the words. A few mothers here sympathized with her, but others like myself feel that talking with children about their bodies and (when appropriate) sexual health is one of the most important things we as parents can do. "Yes, you need to tell him...if you can't do a face to face then find the info somewhere and give it to him to read..then be willing to have a chat after for any questions he might have," says AttriceDiva.
Let's face it, for a kid going through puberty, any information not garnered at home will be picked up somewhere else.That should be scarier than the talk itself!
Lucky for our generation of mommys, there is lots of help out there
for talking to children about puberty. (Ideally, the conversation would
be face-to-face, because if you project shame to your child, that
certainly won't be lost on him.) If talking directly is just too tough
for you, there are lots of great sites to help you through it--places
you and your child can get good, safe, accurate information. Kidshealth.org is my is favorite on the matter because they have a wonderful channel just for parents, one for kids and one for teens too. Good Luck!
Have you had "the talk" with your tween? How'd it go?
FILED UNDER: puberty
Comments:
If we don't do it by the 5th grade with our kids the school system will have already done it for us. At least they did in Hoover ,Alabama with my oldest son. My son came home one day from this Elementary school talking about the fact that they had sex education day and they split the boys and girls up and sent them to different rooms to hear what was going to be taught. He let me know that he was told about wet dreams, ''hard ons'', ejaculations, EVERYTHING. Now, by this time I had a two year old and my son who was almost 10 when he was born kept bugging me to tell him how the baby got there. So dad was away on deployment with the military - mom was left to explain the birds and bees to him some two years before the sex education class at school. I was highly upset though because no one asked (meaning teachers, principal, whomever from the school system) if they could talk to my son about this - they just did it - with a crowd. I don't think waiting past entering middle school is a good idea in this day and time but that's a parents decision NOT the schools. We should have gotten a letter to sign - the choice to have our child removed from the class if we felt that was right for our child. Being up front and down to the point with your child about sex is only the right way to be when both the child and parent is ready to do that.
I'm in the "intro" phase of the birds and bees talk. As a help I'm using the childhood book I've held on to that my mom actually used with us called "How Babies Are Made." I don't expect this to be easy, but not necessarily hard either. I just always want to be viewed as honest and reliable--and that's the type of info I plan of giving my children.
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I have to say that speaking with your kids about "The Birds & The Bees" is the right thing to do, in this day & time, they know too much too early, most in which is info. from the children that have been experiencing already, and/or older siblings, and thats not where the info. my children learn about I want coming from. I want to instill my children's values and beleif system in them as much as possible, and clear up any mis guided advice as well. These kids today have so much pressure to grow up way too fast all around them and we have to be more proactive in thier lives than ever I truly beleive! There are some wonderful books out there for you to read together with your child, ones relating directly to boys and ones relating directly to girls! Barnes And Noble has a wide selection to choose from! And for the 8 to 11 year old Girls starting to be curious about different things, American Girl Books are great.
Hope this was helpful, Nicole
luvin7 Nov. 13, 2008 at 9:19 PM