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How Many Times Before You Give In?
November 23, 2008 at 12:18 PM by Cafe Kierna - Comments (14)
photo by Erica37
This general parenting question posted by Alma_C, jumped off the page at me. "How many times does your child ask you for something before you give in?" I had never pondered that one before.
In all honesty, I don't want to think of myself as a parent who simply "gives in." I want to say what I mean, and mean what I say. I want to not to be manipulated by whining and begging. When a mother says no, 99% of the time it's because that's what's best for her child. "No more cotton candy, absolutely not!" shouldn't be followed 5 minutes later by, "Okaaaay, just a little bit more." But show me the mom who isn't guilty of occasionally buckling to the pressure.
Alma_C mentioned a study that says a child asks about 9 times before a parent gives in. Interesting. I'd bet most of us are oblivious to the actual number of times a child asks, having learned the fine art of tuning out. But can you see how it might be worth noticing? How many times does your child ask for something before you say yes?
FILED UNDER: discipline
Comments:
I have a 2yo so it's a little easier to not give into certain things, but when he gets to whining some days I just have to say forget it and let it go. I know, bad idea, but sometimes I just do.
really? if they harp on it they don't get it. I usually throw it away.
my kids already have learned that they can ask until blue in the face and I will NOT give in. They can (and sometimes do) appeal to their grandparents. mostly to my Dad. He is the softy!
When momma says NO, she MEANS NO! Now "d"h, he tries to "barter" and things with a three year old! He gives it after 1 or 2 askings, then takes it away, then gives it back then takes it away! I HATE THAT!!!!!!!!! At THAT point, I step back and let "the jerk" show himself!!!
Give in??? Why would I do that!?
I am terrible when it comes to giving in. My dd has me fingered, she knows if she asks enough times I will say "okay, but no more", and I let her get something else. She usually just wants a bottle of soda and a brownie from the gas station, or store. When my hubby says no tho, she drops it and doesnt keep on him like she does me. I dont want to be that way, but I hate the begging and looks from strangers when I keep telling her no.
I normally just don't give in. If I say no I mean it. As bad as it sounds, I just don't ever want her to be confused as to what I mean when I say yes and no! Does that even make sense?
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Oh, there is usually kicking and screaming involved, but not often does this momma give in! LOL, we usually leave the store, so the whinning mostly happens when we are out. I don't give in at home ever! I can tune them out and they usually forget about it and move on. They are however only 34 months, so we haven't gotten into it really hard core yet!! LOL I do see it though, a lot. Nope, if they want to throw a fit about me saying no and I tell them to stop crying once, 2nd time we go out to the car, go home and momma comes back later to get what she needed.
sammyjnrtwins06 Nov. 23, 2008 at 1:51 PM