Just starting going through this with my 11 year old.  She's gotten close with a new group of friends who aren't a bad influence but are definitely boy crazy compared to the other group.  Next thing I know she THINKS (did you notice I said thinks?) she has a boyfriend.  I ignored it for a couple weeks thinking it would get old and she would move on.  Unfortunately this hasn't been the case.  I've talked with her about the fact that she's not allowed to date yet, that she has other responsibilities.  I've talked about the importance of listening to and obeying your parents.  I've asked her if she can't say no to dating because I've set that limit how can I trust she'll say no to smoking, drinking, drugs, or sex.  Then I started taking away privileges.  The phone, the computer, the tv, going places, even the flat iron (always got a response in the past-lol!) to no avail.  I even threatened to buy her a couple of really ugly sweatsuits to wear to school every day.  With crossed arms and tears in her eyes, she declared her love and said she could never break up with him! I don't remember being like this til 14 at least!  She finally quit calling him her boyfriend but says she still feels the same.  I eventually gave her her stuff back and we're at a truce right now.  But I am not backing down.  Eleven is too young.  She wants an age and I told her it's about maturity and resonsibility.  She's starting to come around.  I'm waiting to see.  Heaven help me the next 7 years!

mnews Oct. 7, 2008 at 2:53 PM

I empathize. My stepdaughter is 14 and we "discovered" on her myspace (gasp) page, that she is "in love." Now it's all about making sure we understand responsibility and limitations--and no, HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND! Thanks for responding!

Cafe Kierna Oct. 7, 2008 at 4:05 PM

ya mine is fifteen and she has a crush but nothing more so i hope so we are old fashioned the boy has to come and speak to me and my hubby and they have to be chaperoned

FIVEHAPPYHEARTS Oct. 7, 2008 at 7:00 PM

Let me start out by saying, this is a great post!  We are going through this with my 12 1/2 year old daughter.  Her friends are all boy-crazy and it has rubbed off on her.  She is constantly talking about wanting a boyfriend.  Her best friend has already had a few "boyfriends" and she's only 12!  We told her she can't date until at least 14, and that's up for discussion when it gets closer!  She thinks because she is almost 13, she's going to be an adult!  Boy, times sure have changed since I was a kid!

MomW773 Oct. 7, 2008 at 8:13 PM

My niece Rose is 11 yrs old & shwe is itween. Ny sistewr -in -law Rayofhope has thios discussion with her 11 yrs old daughter . & Rayofhope & long with hudabnad sais Rose was to young. I agree with my sister -in-law Rayofhope . Rainbow96

RAinbow96 Oct. 8, 2008 at 2:33 AM

In our family, group dating starts at 15, with one on one starting no earlier than 16...and then only if we feel they've earned the privilege (and yes, dating is a privilege, not a right!!) by proving they are responsible, dependable, etc.

Poetmom Oct. 8, 2008 at 8:22 AM

My daughter, now 19, started dating seriously when she was 15.  I don't think that any mother is really prepaired for their daughters to start dating.  I wasn't.  I talked to my daughter about sex and boys.  I told her that sex does not make or break a relationship; and that getting to know each other is what was important.  I just had to trust that she would use her head, think before she would act.

As I said, she is now 19 and engaged.  She has dreams and ambitions that I would like to see her fulfill before the blessed event.  He has his dreams and ambitions, too, that I would like to see him accomplish.  They are 2 very bright individuals that work well together, I think.  I can see, when he looks at her, that he loves her.

Supermom703 Oct. 8, 2008 at 10:10 AM

I so feel for you moms....so far, I've been blessed w/my stepdaughter, who will turn 13 on Halloween. She's not boy crazy, but my issue is my 14 & 1/2 year old stepson, he's girl crazy...all I ever hear when he's at my house is girls & video games. We need a post on boys being girl crazy, lol. God Bless!!

cafemama2seven Oct. 8, 2008 at 10:13 AM

My little girl(as I would like to call her) hasn't shown signs of being boy crazy! I am thankful for that! However we have discussed the boy issue! I instill the boundaries that she needs to have between having a friend boy, and a boy friend! I tell her that first of at the age of 11 yrs old she still doesn't have any business thinking of boys! I know it is unrealistic, but I want her to know that I don't condone her dating! She knows that when the time comes she would be happy knowing that she can confide in me, and hopefully she would trust me enough to confide me her feelings! Right now she thinks of boys as just another human! So I am  over that! However I am fearsome that soon that will change! So I will just pray that she makes right decisions about boys!

mamasitade3 Oct. 8, 2008 at 10:37 AM

I have my 16yr old sister who lives with us, and she has entered the boyfriend stage. Our rule is we need to meet them first and we do need to know where they are going and what they will be doing.She is really good they will go to the movies hang out at his house and play the Wii with his family (rules there no girls in your room).Perfect. Here they watch t.v and do hang out in her room, it is not so much a room as space. We are in the process of building a room for her, so she currently shares space with my son and husband with a room divider for privacy, but with a 3yr old 2 feet away there will be nothing going on.

luvnmamaof2 Oct. 8, 2008 at 11:07 AM