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Talking to Strangers
February 10, 2009 at 4:30 PM by Cafe Kierna - Comments (9)
photo by kevinsgirl
NotPanicking forbids her kids to talk to strangers at any time--ever with her. Her rule has backfired though, because her son is so engaging, adults strike up conversations with him wherever mom and kid are. She wants to know how to address these grown-ups who are unknowingly helping her kid break her rule. But other moms advised her to relax a little:
"Don't go over board with the not talking to strangers thing. My mother basically had me convinced that all strangers were murderers and rapists and it made me really shy and timid. Then when I got out on my own I was pretty much socially handicapped. I think it's ok to let him talk to strangers once in a while if you're right there."-- sbastille
"I think you can teach to not talk to strangers when he isn't with you. If he is alone... stay away from strangers, don't talk to them, don't go near them, and never take anything (candy, toys) from them. He's going to meet people he doesn't know (he's young, he doesn't know many people!) but it should be safe to talk to people if he is with you."-- AmiJanell
"Personally, I didn't emphasise to my young kids about "don't talk to strangers" and teaching them about dangers out there. I knew it was emotionally important for them to be shown that the world is a GOOD place. Time enough later for them to learn about exceptions to that. I just took it upon myself to NEVER take my children's safety for granted."-- waldorfmom
"You don't control the "don't talk to strangers" rule, by making the strangers not talk. You have to continue to instill the issues and the WHY of the issue to your child."-- EireLass
What do you think about this advice? Do you tell your kids not to talk to strangers?
Comments:
mardigrasqueen I really like your idea..
I think we will try doing this with our son..
Thank you for the idea
I think they should know that there ARE people you can always talk to, such as the employees of the store or restaurant you're in, any staff at the school, anyone in a police or fireman uniform... and when they're with you, if a stranger talks to them, they can look to you for approval.
my son, age 7, is a very talkative boy. always has. he thinks everyone is his friend. despite my best efforts to teach about stranger danger. he still talks to everyone. his therapist suggested i put him in an awareness class, i did. and he still insists everyone is nice. i discussed fighting off a kidnapper by basically telling him the same thing mardigrasqueen said. i too tried to practice it with my son. he however REFUSES TO FIGHT BACK. he doesn't want to fight people. even though he has gotten much better at NOT talking to strangers, he still does it. ANY SUGGESTIONS?
Good lord, I suffered more from those closest to me as a child, never from strangers. So no big surprise that I talk with my kids about appropriate and inappropriate things that people want to include them in and how to get out of that... Trusting their intuitions and avoiding unsafe situations is what I want most for them to learn & follow!
I am so bad about talking to everyone. My hubby laughs at me. We will be in the store and I will be chatting away with someone and when they walk away, he will ask; "who was that?" and more often than not I will not know. He is amazed that I can talk to complete strangers. So, it is very hard for me to tell my kids not to. My son would talk to anyone anywhere and he was never afraid of anyone. I had to keep my eye on him always. My daughter is the complete opposite. She is afraid of everyone so I don't have to worry quite as much with her.
My mother always taught me to not talk to strangers when she wasn't around but explained to me that if I saw a police officer, fireman etc and needed help that I could ask them.
here is the dvd I got from the library for my children
that Safe Side DVD is great because it talks about "don't knows", "kinda knows", and "safe side adults"
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My son is a talker....he doesnt know the meaning of the word stranger. I gave up along time ago on teaching him not to talk to strangers. Now I have moved on to what to do if a stranger grabs him. He has been told to run if possible screaming for help. If not able to run he is to fall down and grab the abducter around the legs screaming this is not my daddy/mommy. An abducter cannot carry a child, cover his mouth, and unwrap the childs arms from his legs at the same time. We have even practiced this at home. It works.
mardigrasqueen Feb. 10, 2009 at 6:12 PM