Special Tips for Moms of Special Needs Kids
October 17, 2008 at 4:52 PM by Cafe Kierna - Comments (3)
There comes a time in nearly every woman's life when she is called to rise beyond what even she thinks she's capable of. For some it's a divorce, a loss of a parent, the sickness of a child perhaps. I want to share this CM mom with all of you--a phenomenal woman. In a only a few years time, Deirdre Carey survived literally all of the above. At only 6-months-old her sweet baby Charlie was diagnosed with a
life-threatening, cancerous brain tumor, not long after that her husband
left her for another woman, and as if things could get any worse, soon
after that she would have to say goodbye to her own mother. Whew. But
you know what? Today Deirdre (and Charlie!) are standing strong.
It goes without saying that someone who has been on this kind of
journey has gems of life-skills advice for the rest of us. But she wants to
share three special tips for special needs moms (which she still is today),
because these are some of the very tenants that kept her and her son
alive. You've heard this stuff before, but there's nothing like the right reminder at the right time. In her words...
Follow your gut instinct! No one knows a child better than their mother. Listen to your gut and your heart when making decisions about your child's health and well-being. I shutter to think of my son's fate if I had not listened to my heart, and accepted the pediatrician's diagnosis of "a bunch of childhood illnesses" as to what was ailing him.
Be your child's advocate! You may not win any popularity contests amongst the teachers, doctors and nurse, and that's just fine! Do your research; push for answers, ruffle feathers, step on toes, do whatever it takes to get your children the resources, services and programs they need in order to thrive despite their challenges! Don't take no for an answer.
Have a pity party for yourself every now and again! You're human, my sister. Having a child with special needs can be incredibly draining physically, mentally and emotionally. Having a mini-breakdown/pity party for yourself can, in fact, be very therapeutic and rejuvenating. Then dust yourself off, and get back on that horse!
If you want to know more about Deirdre, please read her riveting story HopeFaithandCharlie that she bravely self-published. If you need support, advice or information about caring for special needs kids, apply to CM groups like Parenting Special Needs Kids and Moms Helping Moms with Special Needs Children. And if you are ready to talk, of course, I'd love to hear your survival stories.
FILED UNDER: special needs
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god only gives us wat we can take children with special needs are angels who god puts on this earth to make us better people i cries and cried when they diagnosed my daughter as having hearing loss i still remember the first years i cried so much i still do some times but i know know that she will be okay she is a lovely fourteen year old girl
I agree with Fivehappyhearts. As the "CM" Mom written about in the post, I do agree that God doesn't give us more than we can handle...but sometimes I just wish he didn't trust me so much! I'm saying that kiddingly, of course. Mom's raising children with special needs are very special human beings. Sounds like fivehappyhearts feels the same way as I do - our hearts can break and bleed for our children...but we also know in our hearts - our children will have bright futures and that these challenges they face will make them stronger. It did not mention in the article what Charlie's special needs are - he too is hearing impaired (due to a very toxic chemo he was on as a baby) and he has some learning disabilities (as a result of where the tumor was removed from his brain) BUT other than these hurdles his continues to overcome - he is a loving, happy, healthy, althletic little boy - who LOVES LIFE! Stay strong moms - we are the driving force behind our children with special needs. What I am most proud of is that Charlie doesn't even know he has "challenges" - we don't make big deals out of his hearing aids, or that he's pulled out of the classroom for speech therapy, etc. It's just part of his life!
I read this book and it's amazing! I l cried, I laughed, really such a great book on believing in your children, in miracles, in life. Thank you Deirdre for writing it and sharing your story.
Cafe MicheleZ Oct. 17, 2008 at 4:38 PM