I'm currently going through this with my 11 yr. old son.  I get it from my 8 yr. old son too, but yesterday, I took them to the Bible and shared verses with them about what God says regarding honoring and obeying parents.  It was a good strategy that I will use as needed.

shellnab Jul. 2, 2009 at 11:54 AM

My ds,age 12, is individuating. They need to assert their indepenence at this age. They are also faced with many challenges as tweens today. We allow him to express his moods and disapointment when we say no, to an extent. He has consequenses for disrespect, that is simply not allowed.

writeon Jul. 2, 2009 at 1:39 PM

I have a 12 year old boy who yes is starting to debate every thing we say as parents.  It is very taxing at times as he is smart.  He is big tall kids so he is treated like an adult by most people, but he is still only 12 going into 8th grade.  We have taken away all Video Games and TV when he is disrespectful or talks back.  This is a tough age, I can hardly wait till he really is a teen.

kidsrecipes Jul. 3, 2009 at 2:11 AM

Disrepectfulness, talking back, rude ignorance to what you're saying/asking, stomping mad/throwing tantrums... These are all undesired behaviors by parents and is very difficult for us to deal with. Have you considered looking into the reason why your child is being disrespectful, stomping mad, or being in a way that irritates, frustrates, or angers you? Rather than just telling them not to do something undesirable to you, have you told them why and how?

Raising kids compassionately - Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD
"other people’s actions, no matter how painful to us, are simply attempts to meet their needs. It requires reminding ourselves, again and again, of a crucial point: that people will prefer to meet their needs in ways that don’t harm others when given options that they believe will really meet their own needs."

Nonmember comment from Nonviolent pare Jul. 3, 2009 at 5:45 AM

i have a 12bo with a bad attitude ik the feeling.....i finally told him that if he wants anything from me he has to have respect....he used to be mommas boy and we were close but now its all about bein a tween......om i miss my baby.......i also have a 14yr old gurl with attitude......shes got a big heart and a bigger attitude like her lil brother.......idk what too do anymore......i give the options and if they cant agree i flip a coin they hate that.....they want there independence and its hard too let go.....i feel for all the moms out ter who have tweens they are a hand full....

chris1975 Jul. 3, 2009 at 8:30 AM

I have a 13 year old who is going on 18.  Thinks he knows it all.  I have to keep reminding him he is only 13....in reference to dating and at the same time his is 13 and is old enough to do chores without complaining.  etc, it is very frustrating.  I have a 15 year old that doesn't complain much when asked to do chores, but school is another issue.  And an 18 year old who I can not motovate.  Thanks for letting me vent!

trstyrhart Jul. 4, 2009 at 6:26 AM

I have  12 year old girl who i have check to make sure she has deoderant on.hair brushed ect.She is going through puberty so she is also emotional.She fight whith me about doing chores (in the end i win ).we asked her if she cursed at her sister she stared crying .She wasnt in trouble we just asked.5min.later we see heron couch still crying ask her what is wrong she said she was in trouble for curseing at boo she didnt do it .she was never in trouble we just asked if she didme &dh were just like wow.So we asked her if she was emo child she started laughing said no .I was starting to wonder if she is ok if all the water works and mood swings and attidute were normal

kayos_101 Jul. 4, 2009 at 8:43 AM