September 2, 2009 at 11:27 AM by Cafe Cynthia - Comments (1)
Photo by floridamama-4-2
Slamming doors, lying, scowling, defiant behavior. All things to look forward to when your child hits pre-puberty, somewhere around age 8 or 9.
Moms answering pleas for advice say just because your child has to go through the bad attitude doesn't mean you have to sit back and take it.
Several who've been through it say standing your ground, discipline, and consequences are still key.
"I still do time-outs and it keeps my son in check," says one mom. "He is a child and I AM STILL in charge. You can take away the TV, phone, ground her, whatever it takes to make it clear that she will not be rude to you. Behaviors can be learned and modified, and it is best to make your expectations clear today rather than when she is even older. Kids will push as much as you let them."
"By keeping my son accountable for his actions, things have gotten better," says another mom in the Advice for Moms group. "We have good days and bad days, but you have to remain strong and united in your decisions so that she has no room to push. If she says she hates you, don't take it personally, just tell her that if she feels that way you are sorry but you aren't there to win a popularity contest. Even if she doesn't appreciate that now, she will later when she is older."
Total Votes: 16
Do you think it's more important to be your child's BFF or to be a super strict disciplinarian during the pre-puberty years? Which approach has better success?
Sign up for CafeMom and become a member. As a member you'll be able to leave comments, join groups, write journals, share photos, and more. Already a member? Click here to log in.
Or, leave a guest comment (guest comments are moderated and won't appear immediately)
Stay in touch with CafeMom wherever you are
It is never okay for a parent to try and be their childs friend. You are their parent first and foremost and they should always view you as such. When they are grown ups if you have done your parenting and not tried to be their friend they will want to be your friend.
momoftwins240 Sep. 2, 2009 at 5:59 PM