my preschooler helps me with the list. she knows that if she acts up even once, we leave with nothing, and i will go by myself once my husband is off work. for my son, who is 5 months, i have been putting him inthe sling, but now that he is getting good at sitting on his own, i will be putting him in the cart. my daughter's favourite treat is chinese rice crackers, and we get them at the end of the trip, if she has acted nicely.

jcsmummy Dec. 12, 2008 at 12:29 PM

My SS(4) knows that at the end of the trip through the store he gets to pick out one piece of junk food from the checkout line. We can be in the store for hours, and he'll still sit very quiet in the cart or walk holding onto the side, because as soon as he acts up his treat is taken from him. If he does it again, daddy takes him from the store to sit in the car. I will finish my shopping on my own time, and he can either see everything or be in the car with nothing. DS(1) also has learned this through watching his older brother. He loves picking out between two things I hold up for him at the end. He giggles and can't wait until the car where I open them up as daddy fills the back with the groceries. So far this has worked every time. We only had one melt down with SS, and he didn't like sitting in the car with daddy for almost an hour (with the air on because it was a hot day. That's why daddy is with him, to make sure he is alright.) It took a few times with DS but now he's learned well. When DS was younger, he could scream all he wanted. I am shopping and he just had to deal with it. I don't care if I get bad looks from people, they obviously have never gone shopping with an infant before.

Kenre Dec. 12, 2008 at 1:08 PM

Our grocery store (Giant Eagle) has a nursery in it.  You can take your kids in there and they have a staff that watches them.  They have movies and games and toys for the kids to play with.  They call it The Eagles Nest.  I have never used it but it is a big, glass room at the front of the store and the kids always look like they are having fun.  They even have a craft to do while they are in there.  I think it is a very clever idea and I may use it some day.

Peajewel Dec. 12, 2008 at 1:17 PM

Being a Mother of 3. One is 8, 3, and 10months. I take two carts. One with the two youngest, My three year old is handicaped. And the second with my oldest son pushing.  He does good, because I have a system put in place! It is called the Bad Bean!  I carry pinto beans in my pocket, when he misbehaves I pull out a bean and place it in the other pocket, and tell him BEAN.  At the end of shopping if he has behaved he can pick one candybar.  If he gets a bean, when we get home, he has time out for however many beans I pull out of my pocket. And a chore to match!  The 3 yr. old is now being introduced to this concept and his fits are 100% better!

Mica30 Dec. 12, 2008 at 1:23 PM

First, the more often you take your child with you, the better behaved they'll be.  If they don't know how to behave because you never take them, you can't very well expect good behavior, can you?

Really, it comes down to making rules and sticking to them.  "You will sit in the car, or walk with me.  If you're walking, you need to keep your hands off things, and stay very close to me.  If you break those rules, you will sit back in the cart.  If you throw a fit in the cart, I'll take you home, leave you there, and come back to the store by myself."

Honestly, I've never really had problems with having my son at the store, because we go often and he knows what to expect.

RanaAurora Dec. 12, 2008 at 1:24 PM

I am going to try giving mine flashcards with pictures of food on it that I need. Like apples, bananas, bread, eggs ect... and they can help me find them

princemelissas Dec. 12, 2008 at 1:42 PM

They all get a shopping list and a budget, and we go up and down all the aisles. They have to find all the best deals, and keep track of how much money they have spent, and how much they have left.

When My youngest was a toddler, his list was made of pictures, then later, letters. I have always and still do use grocery shopping as a time for learning. Even when my youngest was a baby I would point out letters and say the sounds on everything we saw whether he was actively listening or not.

3gifts.from.god Dec. 12, 2008 at 1:53 PM

Our 5.5 year old was a real stinker one day...I told her to settle down - I think she was 3 at the time - so I told her to settle down and if I had to ask again we were leaving...She acted up and we left, I told the manager my husband would be in to get the groceries (he happened to be on his way home), I left the cart there...took Lin home and Brad picked up the slack - needless to say - she knew I meant business and has been a saint in the store ever since. 

JillianMomOf3 Dec. 12, 2008 at 2:07 PM

my boys are only 3 and 14 months, so they are still pretty easy to manage in the grocery store. We shop at Fred Meyer and they have those car-carts with the steering wheels.  My boys are perfectly content to sit in their seat and "drive" through the store while I shop.  Of course we ALWAYS have to swing by the bakery as well for a free "kid-cookie"  My 3  year old never forgets! :)

mum2gr8byz Dec. 12, 2008 at 2:33 PM

I only give in once and a while.  Otherwise, my son (who is 13 now) knows that when I say no, he knows I mean no.  We are frank with him about things being tight in the finance department and can understand a bit.  Even when he was younger and would like to try to throw fits, that never worked.  He still didn't get his way.  I never walked out of a store because he was having a fit, that lets him win the situation.  I let him whine and go on.  After only a few times of that, he knew that just because he was throwing a fit, that didn't let him get his way.  When he was little, I would also let him bring along one of his stuffed toys that he could play with and hug on.  I would say, most of the time that would work, and we didn't have to worry about the "I want" all the time.

dragonvisions24 Dec. 12, 2008 at 2:40 PM