Secrets They Keep From First-Time Moms

February 10, 2009 at 4:05 PM by Cafe Cynthia - Comments (60)

Photo by Maggies-a-mommy

From around CafeMom, a list of things your doctor will never tell you about being pregnant. New mamas feel free to add to the list in comments!

-- How disgusting it feels to sit down and have your stomach partially resting on your thigh ... gross!

-- That for the one time in my life that I don't need tampons, I'm going through panty liners like they are going out of style.

-- That, no matter what ANYONE says, labor and delivery is the most painful experience you will ever have. But you won't be able to remember that pain, nor describe it, within hours after giving birth.

-- That I would grow hair on my belly.

-- How many times people ask you if you're having twins.

-- That after hearing "How far along are you?" after 100 times you just want to say "I'm not pregnant."

-- That you get really thirsty during delivery but you cannot drink water, only ice cubes!

-- That once you go into labor, you can't have anything to eat!

-- That you'll fart. NONSTOP. And not ladylike cute farts that can be laughed off with a giggle or a blush.

-- How you can be pissed off at everyone for absolutely no reason at all. And then be so pissed off at everyone that you get so sad and cry for no reason!

-- That 1 month after having my baby, I just wanted to be pregnant again.

-- That it doesn't matter how many showers you take or how many panty liners you use, if you aren't walking around commando to air the area out you'll start to smell. You'll even consider the use of a hair dryer.

-- That I would repeatedly pee myself.

-- That even though you are pregnant, the weight you gain feels like it really has nothing to do with a baby growing inside of you.

-- That sleep would end months BEFORE the baby got here!

-- That 4 weeks between doctors' visits can seem like forever.

-- That you CAN NOT eat everything you want. It leads to heartburn, nausea, and weight gain that is too rapid.

-- That you will most likely poop on the delivery table! (and vomit is a possibility too).

-- How you never had such a hard time shaving your cooter before and now you kinda have to guess at where it's going.

-- That your nipples would soon resemble those that you always gasped and laughed at on the cover of National Geographic when you were younger.

-- How much I was going to miss having my baby in my tummy after he was born!

What do you wish your doctor had told you about your first pregnancy?

FILED UNDER: pregnancy health, pregnancy symptoms, the pregnant life, trying to conceive