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I'm an Old Mom
July 1, 2009 at 12:00 PM by Cafe MicheleZ - Comments (8)
This is me. I don't feel old or act old -- whatever that really means. But being pregnant for the first time at 36 years old qualifies me as old.
Advanced maternal age is what they call any woman over 35 having a baby for the first time. It used to be called elderly primigravida, but they phased that phrase out. Jeez, I sound ancient.
I did a lot of things later than "the norm." I went to college for eight years. Not for failing though -- OK I failed piano class and my dreams of being like Tori Amos were ruined. I just was so eager to learn lots of things. I started off at community college majoring in math and science. Then took English and French for two more years. Then I was off to a university where I majored in English and French and took classes in creative writing and journalism. I graduated when I was 25. Then took Masters classes in secondary education. Phew. Tired of thinking of all of that.
I started my career after college, got married at 35, and here I am pregnant for the first time with twins. The way my life went, I was destined to be an old mom.
I feel I did what I needed to do before I settled down. Like I said before, this is me -- my life. I would never judge what others choose to do; I hope people don't judge me.
So here's the thing -- being an old mom-to-be of twins makes some doctors want to test me for every little thing. I've seen specialists who offer totally different opinions. Some want me to have an ultrasound every two weeks. Others insist on prodding me with needles. And it's gotten to the point where I want to scream. Do we have too many tests when pregnant?
I know I have my age against me. But I have lived a drug-free lifestyle, am in good shape, and I'm a healthy eater -- I am rarely sick and even when I am, I've avoided taking prescription medicine (unless absolutely necessary). I even took vitamins and folic acid while TTC. So yeah, my eggs are 36 years old, but they lived in an ideal environment. At least I'd like to think so.
I know modern medicine is amazing. And believe me, I am thankful for it. But there has come a time when this mama bear has had enough -- that time is now.
I have my first official meeting with my doula on Friday. She is a friend of mine and we've talked casually about my pregnancy, but we are going to sit down and talk a lot of things over. I can't wait.
I might even do some prenatal yoga tonight. One doctor told me not to, but another doctor said it was fine. I know, I'm a rebel. I'm even going to see Wilco in a few weeks, I wear skinny jeans and heels (well the skinny jeans won't button anymore since pregnancy), and I do brunch with friends quite often. I can't be old old, right?
I feel like my babies are telling me that everything is going to be OK, no matter what.
Are you an old mom, too? Have you ever felt like your head was spinning after hearing differing opinions from doctors during pregnancy?
FILED UNDER: the pregnant life
Comments:
I try to remember that doctors do what books and other people suggest- they don't really know you, your body, how you feel- I think they give general advice and then it's up to you to fine tune it to suit you, lol....I made it just under the "old mom" line at 34- but still the doctors and nutritionists torment me- I'm too thin, then I'm too fat, now I don't have enough of this protein or too much of that one- some days I cry on the way home from the doctor- just because it seems they always find fault, lol...and then I remember that I've had three beautiful, healthy, wonderful children during my "young dumb" years and they're great- I can do this- I'm much better informed and prepared this time around than I ever was with the others! That's the beauty of age- it gives you a perspective and appreciation you lack when you're younger- and it's a bonus to motherhood in my world and I'm sure it will be to you too!
I did both, young Mom.....old Mom and they do want to do so many tests on us old Mom's. My doctor was great though. She gave me the facts and let me decide what I wanted to do. She said her job was not to make up my mind but to tell me the risks involved. When it came to the needle in the belly, I freaked out a bit and had a small melt down in her office and she said they tell you that when you are over 35 the chances of your baby being born with a defect is 1 in 100 however; she does not look at it that way...I have a 1% chance of it happening. That sounded way better. Plus then she said they would do another u/s and if anything at all looked "funny" then we would discuss he whole thing over again. But it was fine. I did have a million u/s though and I was okay with that because I loved seeing her.
you're no old mom. me either, but they liked to say i was too. i just took the decisions one at a time and decided what felt right for me. you will too. i was in plenty of good company with friends on both ends of the spectrum. there are pros and cons either way.
I'm 41 and pregnant with my third child. My first two are going to be 18 and 15 when this baby is born. My chart states "high risk pregnancy elderly multigravida". I hadn't felt old until I read that. They have offered me every test ever made. Some I have taken, some I have passed on. Everything seems to be fine so far at 16 weeks. My question, "do you think there will be enough room in the delivery room for my walker???"...lol. Have a great day girls!
Im 39 and 35 weeks pregnant with my second. I was 33 when I had my first. They have also labled me "Advanced Maternal Age" blah blah blah. I elected not to have any of the tests done. We did go see a perinatologist who did the nuchal measurments and said they looked fine, but that was it. I remeber some of those tests with my first and they were nerve racking. I didnt want to go through that again.
Just want to say thanks to all of you for your comments. It helps to hear what others have went through.
And goingitalone...you almost made me pee my pants when I read: My question, "do you think there will be enough room in the delivery room for my walker???"
Right.
The number of tests they do are crazy. It's like they are searching for something to be wrong. Unfortunately for them, every test comes out fine. My blood sugar is fine, my weight gain is very little, my blood pressure is great and the baby has no problems at all.
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rozepyle Jul. 1, 2009 at 12:22 PM