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Is the Princess Fantasy Dangerous?
May 3, 2009 at 7:48 AM by Cafe Cynthia - Comments (40)
Photo by LisaAnnM
I'm not a huge Princess fan, and never was as a girl. Nothing against them, but my heroes were adventurers like Joan of Arc, Wonder Woman, and various brave women of my imagination who rode wild horses, shot a bow and arrow, and swam with dolphins.
Princesses just sit on their pretty pink butts, comb their hair, and wait for some guy to come along -- how totally boring is that!
Speaking of which, I'm ready to enroll my 4 year old daughter in the local chapter of Princesses Anonymous. Pink, pretty, bejeweled, delicate, feminine, is her entire world. Yesterday I tried to put a perfectly girly orange corduroy skirt on her and she had a conniption.
And today she informed me she doesn't want to wear clothes that she's already worn before -- in other words, she wants brand new clothes every day so she doesn't have to wear the same thing twice. Yes, and on which planet do you reside again, Sweetie?
I'm not sure what that line of thinking that is so removed from reality has to do with Princesses, but I'm on a tear and I'm going to blame them anyway.
An anonymous mom in Answers is wary of the influences of Princesses, too, and offers up a few good reasons why:
"My husband and I want our kids to be able to be whoever they want to be. Our daughters wear dresses, and pink on occasion, but we try to buy them trucks along with tea sets. Our daughter is 22 months, doesn't really watch TV or get clothing or products with cartoon characters on them.
"What is the longest we'll be able to avoid the Disney Princesses? Because this phenomenon really scares me. I've seen so many preschoolers totally obsessed! I'm not saying this stuff is evil, but I do think some of the cultural messages through these stories/products, etc. are not good for girls."
Yup, that's my daughter she's talking about. I'm a failure on the Princess front so my advice is worthless, but here's how one very smart mom, kara_g., answered:
"Remember, you are raising an INDIVIDUAL and not a gender, so you expose her to things and you respect her decisions.
"Don't discount princesses. But when you read Sleeping Beauty, say, "That's silly that she waited for him. She could have just woken up!" There are some stronger princesses too, like Pocohontas. Disney is wising up.
"Buy books about Amelia Earhart, etc. Also keep stong males in her life and show her she can make their choices, too. Say things to her like "you're smart," "you're clever," "you are a good problem solver" and take note when other girls make positive decisions. 'Lisa is a great guitarist!' "
++ Are you troubled by your daughter's Princess obsession? Are princesses a good or bad influence on little girls? What positive qualities do they hold?
FILED UNDER: development & growth, girls, play
Comments:
My daughter loves princesses and I encourage it! Who cares, she is 2! If you are letting her learn her values from a cartoon character you have bigger problems! She plays princess all the time but she also plays pirates, dinosaurs and batman. The key is helping them have diverse interests. She is a girly girl somedays, a tomboy on others, I just let her be herself. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a princess or get treated like one now and then!
And the clothes thing, I think that is standard 4 year old girl, I know a few like that! I hear it only gets worse!!
Our "obsession" is tinkerbelle..its my fault, I have loved that cute fairy since highschool. Peter Pans Tink!!! Neverland!! (*Not that Tinkerbelle movie! DISAPPOINTMENT!) I loved the Peter Pan movie, its not about sitting around & waiting like a princess. but doing & dreaming! See what happens in life if you just believe (in yourself!). Imagine big. Dream Big!
Thats what we take from it..
Yes DD knows the princess, she can name them... But she has only watched Sleeping Beauty.. and I really enjoy Alice In Wonderland.
It isn't just the Disney princesses, every cartoon character and TV show is so commercialized and in *every* store on so many items. How could a kid not see, and therefore want, all of the stuff?
You know it all started with the Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles. I was appalled when my now 20 year old wanted such hideous toys (we didn't watch the program so had no idea what it was about). But soon all his little friends had something with those turtles on it but I didn't relent. I've found the obsession with character products when young lead into obsession with name brand products later on...best to avoid that mentality all together!
Sure I let my daughters wear a tiara, along with other dress up clothes, including a fireman, super hero, and policeman. But we don't have many items with the commercial characters on them. When my kids ask for such things I suggest they use their own money (that they earned doing chores). That usually stops them in their tracks from wanting it so desperately.
I love the book the "paper bag princess" You can google it and find it.
I love how the princess saves the prince.
It's very cute.
My daughter is 13 and is obsessed with Tinkerbelle!! So I hope that all I have taught her is going to overide all that fantasy stuff, but with all that is going on in the world it couldn't hurt to have some fantasy.
My daughter loves princesses and I encourage it! Who cares, she is 2! If you are letting her learn her values from a cartoon character you have bigger problems!
*Exactly what TKsMommie said! I find it hard to believe your daughter doesn't want to wear the same clothes twice unless you've given her that idea. My daughters really like Beauty and the Beast (Belle), Ariel, Cinderella and Snow White. I grew up loving them as well. I NEVER got the idea from it that I had to have a guy from it. It's just a fantasy story...thats all. Are you not teaching your child the difference in pretend and make believe and real life?
My three year old isn't into the princesses, but she is really into Dora. I think the princess obsession is a little annoying, and when I was picking toddler bedding, and later twin bedding, I choose to avoid the bedding. We went with pooh for toddler bedding and flowers for the twin. If I were to name my preschooler's favorite things, among the top ten would be Dora, Dinosaurs, airplanes, "pretties" (jewelry) and my husband's dog tags. She's pretty diverse, so I'm happy.
I don't see what the big deal is.
It's about the kid having fun, it's a movie to watch, a toy to play with, a picture on shirt. She's knows it's just fairytales and make-believe.
She has other interest and real-life values so what does it matter. She enjoys it and has fun. She's just a kid
She is a typical girl! I was into all of the princesses and pink and clothes. I love the idea of dreaming big. I think that they are good for the imagination. No, they don't show real life drama crap but it is a fairy tale and you should let her enjoy it. The ones that bug me are ones like Hannah Montana and the reputations that they put out. But I won't forbid it.
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I have the problem that my 5 year old is a girly girl and I was a huge tomboy when I was a kid. I hated dolls, didn't wear dresses, only played with boys, ect.. When I was about 9 or 10 I started palying with dolls a little but it only lasted like a year, then I was too big for them. My DD loves dresses, makeup, princesses, dolls, and all that stuff. I have always thought that princesses were pretty stupid, but I have no problem letting her play with them or watch them. I just let her know that no girl needs to wait for a boy to do something for her. I sometimes make up my own princess stories where she rescues the prince. So as long as your daughter eventually gets that they are "fairy" tells I see nothing wrong with little girls liking princesses.
TeriMelisa May. 3, 2009 at 8:18 AM