Toddler Buzz
>> Toddler Buzz
Sibling Rivalry Starts Early
August 27, 2009 at 4:13 PM by Cafe Cynthia - Comments (5)
My son started acting out the day he first met his baby sister at the hospital. He was not pleased. He became moody, beligerant, and uncooperative almost immediately.
It was obvious he was jealous and did it for attention, because for a toddler, attention equals love. He wanted to be sure that love wasn't going to get all sucked up by this crinkly little thing in my arms.
Every toddler reacts to a new sibling differently. Some accept it with open arms, but more often they turn envious. Some even act this way before the baby comes, as in the case of ConnorsMom03, who's expecting a girl in the fall. Her 2 year old son is morphing back into a infant.
She tells the gals in Advice for Moms:
"He'll go around saying, "Mommy, hold me," "Goo goo, gaa gaa," "I'm a baby boy." He wants a lot of attention. At first I thought it was cute, but it is getting old now. I just want him to act like himself now so that when the baby comes he is acting like the big brother and not a second baby."
Here's how other moms suggested she deal with her toddler's reaction to becoming a big brother:
-- Let him help you set up the baby's room or clothes.
-- Ask him to draw pictures to hang in the baby's room.
-- Try saying "OUR baby" ... "When OUR baby comes home ..." That way he feels like it's his baby too, he's part of it.
-- When you have a baby shower, try to get him something special too so he doesn't think the baby gets it all. When my son was born, I also bought my daughter a stuffed animal and told her her brother got it for her because he loves her so much.
-- Buy him a baby doll. Sometimes kids get TOO into helping and cause problems. This way he can take care of his own baby.
How did your toddler react to the news of a new baby in the house? How did you convince her that you still loved her just as much as before?
Comments:
We bought our oldest son a baby doll when I was pregnant so that he will learn to be gentle with when the baby comes. I just gave birth, and my sons first reaction at the hospital almost exacly the same like your son Cynthia. He wasn't happy at all. he even took a swipe at her. But now he already shows gentleness to the baby, gives here a kiss. I think he accepted that this baby is gonna stay here forever lol
There's has been very little jealousy in our house. I am soooo thankful. The only major incident that I can think of was last week when I was putting the baby in the sling and my oldest wanted to be held too. Luckily my husband was quick and put her in his ring sling. She absolutely loves her little sister. She really likes it when we say "awe" about anything (hugs, kisses, general cuteness) so she kisses the baby and touches her gently. I hope that when our third baby comes along they'll both be as loving and accepting.
Our oldest was 19 months old when his sister was born. As soon as we found out I was pregnant (he was a year old when we found out) we bought him a baby doll. He carried that thing around for weeks. When our daughter was born, we made a big deal out of him being a big brother, he helped hold her bottle and was in charge of throwing away the diapers.
Now, they are 3 years and 1.5 years and inseperatable! He even calles her "My Diva", which is her nickname, or "My Chloe". They play together nicely, for them most part as she has learned "Mine!" and have a hard time being away from each other.
I have yet to see any sibling issues between them.
That's great! I really hope we can help my son be sweet to his little sister, and after a little bit of adjusting, that he will do just fine.
Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?
Sign up for CafeMom and become a member. As a member you'll be able to leave comments, join groups, write journals, share photos, and more. Already a member? Click here to log in.
Or, leave a guest comment (guest comments are moderated and won't appear immediately)
I bought my son a baby boy cabbage patch doll while I was pregnant. I did not have any problems with my oldest when my youngest son was born. They are now 7 and almost 6 and I think the rivalry is happening now. they are always trying to out do each other with certain things and they argue now. I have to do a lot of explaining to them. For the most part they get along pretty good. I just gave birth to a baby girl and they could not be any happier.
amybuddy45 Aug. 27, 2009 at 10:42 PM