What should I do if I want my kids to be homeschooled but my husband doesn't?

I made mention to dh that I would love to homeschool, until the kids mention they want to go to public school. Then they would go to public school. (I'd rather private school them, but we could never afford that.) He became somewhat upset, saying how lacking in social skills hs kids are. I told him there are programs & activities now hs kids can attend, & websites that track your progress so it's not "no school." It has come a long way since we were kids lol. The main reason why is the public school teachers usually don't care. Don't care about the kids academically, personally, and especially how to nurture their potential. If the school system improves, I have no problem sending them to PS, but as it is now, no way. Not hating on PS senders; I went to PS myself, which is exactly why I hate it lol. So HS's, how did you convince your DH HS was the right choice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Jan. 5, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (22)
  • It sounds like your husband is expressing what he has "heard" of homeschooled children, rather than what he "knows." I have HSed my children 10yr+, and know exactly what is assumed and said of HS kids. In my experience, the rumors rarely fit!

    We belong to several large local HS groups, know a large number of HS families and kids, and these children are bright, enthusiastic, friendly, and do not have the "socialization issues" that those who know NOTHING about HSing claim they do!

    If you are serious about HSing, do some research and present the facts to your husband. I have many HS mom friends whose husbands were not automatically agreeable to HSing, but when presented with the facts and undeniable statistics of the success of HSing and the mothers' determination and obvious dedication, their resolve is softened.
    catholicmamamia

    Answer by catholicmamamia at 1:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2009

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  • You really generalize all public schools, teacher, and administration. Just remember that they aren't ALL the same. It depends on your district and even in the district schools are different. And within the district, teacher are different. And MOST teachers care very much. Heck if they didnt, they sure wouldnt put up with the job.
    The best thing for your kids IS the best educations...socially, emotionally AND academically. IF you can go to your DH with fair research on homeschooled, and public schools in your area, you'd have the best chance of convincing him or doing whats best for your children. Good luck!
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 9:22 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • lol I very well may have :) My kiddos are still young, just learning to talk, so this is a ways in the future lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • I agree with the above answer that you are kind of stereotyping all schools and teachers, which isn't really fair. I think those who homeschool are great, and I admire them for wanting to be the ones teaching their kids, but I know I personally am not knowledgable in everything they could learn at a public school. Maybe I am a bit biased being from a long line of teachers and marrying a future teacher and wanting to be a teacher myself. THe fact is most teachers do care or they would've found a different profession. I think it's the kids growing up lazy and spoiled lately that makes it seem the teachers don't care. Now some are just bad teachers. and my sister switched schools for that very reason.
    avpriddis

    Answer by avpriddis at 9:55 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • I have to say I agree with your husband!! Kids that homeschool are usually lacking very important social skills!! I know when I was in High school and the homeschooled kids came to the activitys they had for them to join us they were soooooooo wierd they had no idea how to interact with us what so ever they were just kinda in thier own little world... they were really odd!! anyway they are your kids you do what you think is best but I do agree with your husband!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:19 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • Pray. You can look at my recent answer about home education. But I would tell any mother considering it----make sure you are both on board because it is not "school at home" it is a lifestyle of learning. My kids were not the "weird" type mentioned--but there are just as many odd PS kids--more so--than home educated kids. Just go to the mall:-) However, my kids were very involved and all three were out going. Today at 19, 21, & 24--they are all very well adjusted, very intelligent, and are happy they were home educated. If you still feel you want to--start reading everything you can find on it. There are a lot of resources out there to begin to understand the process:-) Start at Practical Homeschooling (I think they are still around) and read the articles. Home School Oasis is another good site. There are several different approaches---you need to find the one that fits you:-)

    Ronnie80

    Answer by Ronnie80 at 11:03 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • Best thing to do is educate yourself. Find the pros and cons of both. Also, check to see if your school district has any programs that combine home and public schooling options - either having the school "monitor" the child's progress and suggest curriculum or even having your kids attend some classes at the public school and homeschool for other subject. By the time your child is old enough, these may be more popular, so keep your eyes and ears open.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 11:03 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • Also, talk to other homeschooling moms in your area - there are generally support groups as well as groups that meet to help each other out (taking turns on different topics, going on outings, etc...). I think an educated adult will find that the social opportunities for homeschooling are as limitless as public school but are a lot more controlled by ensuring that your children are spending time with other families who share your same values. You can't control who your kids "hang with" at public school. Peer pressure is pretty important to consider, too, when looking at education options.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 11:04 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • There are some excellent books on why to home educate for further info....Dumbing Us Down by John T. Gatto is a good one to start with. I may not agree with everything he says, but he has some excellent points. He was NYC and NYS Teacher of the Year several years ago. There are so many--just start researching it. Try the Elijah Company. They used to have an excellent catalog that was more like a beginners guide to home education:-) but quite a few years ago. Try their website because I think they still have great articles.

    Ronnie80

    Answer by Ronnie80 at 11:09 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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  • he's wrong. my homeschooled kid is VERY social.
    autodidact

    Answer by autodidact at 11:33 PM on Jan. 5, 2009

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