Do I have any rights as a stepparent?

Hy husband and I have been married for 3 yrs. He had a previous marriage and they have a 6 yr. old together. He gets him every other weekend and so far things have been "decent". Recently she wants to sit there and say that she doesn't want this child to see me while its his weekend to come over. She's never liked me and has always tries to make conflict.

Can a divorced mother tell her ex husband (my husband now) who their son can and cant see while it is his visitation weekend?? Do I have any rights on being a step parent... Or does my husband have the say so on who he can see since its his visitation timing?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 PM on Jan. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (31)
  • Continued from anonyous 12:45
    My ex's new girlfriend smoked around my kids and I didnt want my kids anywhere near her. We just never got along. The courts allowed the kids to be around her but if smoking was involved then they would take further actions.. so now I'm told by my kids that she smokes outside & they don't come hom smelling like smoke anymore..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • She has no control over who he sees or what rules he has to follow while the little boy is at his fathers. And if your husband is following her "rules" then you have a serious problem. He needs to tell her to back off and get over it. You are his wife now, not her and he needs to put you and your needs first, if he's putting what she wants first then I'd pitch a fit. If she tried to take him to court over the fact that she doesn't want her child seeing his (legal) stepmom the judge would laugh at her.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:51 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • Yes she has every right. He only has his child every other weekend. He should be spending it with his child not with everyone else. But as far as you go, you have no rights. You are only the fathers new wife. But if she had any issues with you she should have brought them up long before now. If there is nothing new going on in your home I'd say she was just being a bitch.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • Nope, she has no control over who the child is around. The only time she has a say is if it's a drug addict, etc. She can't dictate how he spends his time. I'd tell her to shove it lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • It depends on his court order. I think if you are married though she cant? I know in mine I had it put in there were no overnight visits with anyone of the opposite sex unless they were related (married in other words). I also have stipulations on there on who can pick up and drop off the child. My ex tried to get the woman he had an affair with to do them and I knew that was bad news and Id probably kick her ass.
    Go over the court order and see what it says. If she fails to allow visits he can go to court for contempt actions against her and ask the judge add you are allowed there for visits.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:44 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • Once the child is visiting with his father. He can be around ANYONE or take him ANYWHERE as long as it isnt putting the child in danger. I was in the same situation recently and that's what the courts told me. As long as he picks your son up and drops him off at the times agreed nothing else is your concern. I HATE the cout system!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • If your read the divorce decree, it should say in the visitation part. Usually it says when the child is in his possession he can pick who is a responsible adult and there is nothing she can do about it. I am and have been going through the same thing. Now that I am pregnant she has gotten even worse because she is jelous. Don't worry about it. Email me if you have anyother Step mom problems I have been through them all.....lol
    TashaMarie349

    Answer by TashaMarie349 at 12:45 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • From knowing friends and relatives who are divorced with kids, I'd say since your married to hubby for some time the ex has to adjust to it. Unless there's drugs or abuse by the hubby, the ex really doesn't have anything to stand on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • My husband's ex wishes I was dead. She hates me too. And NO she can't say that their child can't see you. You live in the house and are married to the child's father. She has NO RIGHTS to say that he can't see you. It sounds like your husband needs to stand up to her and tell her that you are his wife and live in the house and his child will have a relationship with you when he is on his father's time. My husband hates even talking to his ex, but he put her in her place a few times on the subject.
    Carajust

    Answer by Carajust at 12:46 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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  • No!! She cant tell him to do shit if it is his visitation weekend. Besides, you are the stepmother so whether she likes it or not you have the right to see him. Tell her to take a hike!!
    YOur husband can do whatever he wants with his child during his visitation weekend. He can tell you to take him to China and back with his permision and there isnt a damn thing that woman can do about it. I take my ss everywhere when he is visiting. His mom doesnt like it but she cant do shit!!
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 12:47 PM on Jan. 12, 2009

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