What should I do if my toddler refuses to share his toys?

my son age 3 dosent share and i dont have anyone who i can see with kids i have 3 daughters but there 11,10,9 so my son dosent understand sharing and we have tried look moms playing with the fire truck you have the police car he will want the fire truck so i will be like ok but can i play with police car no mine. my dh has a friend that has a son the same age and at least 2xs in the summer theres a bbq. and my son is THAT kid. we try and do time outs but son is the type he wants it he wants it. he will have 10 cars and wont give up one. what do i do? again theres no kids his age around here how can i teach him to share.


Asked by tabbys4 at 10:06 AM on Jan. 26, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • Lol, sounds like my daughter- she's 3 1/2. It's just not something that comes naturally to them. I now try harder to get my daughter out for playdates (thanks to cafemom) for more interaction with other kids. :) She has a baby sister also who is now 10 mos. old and she is always taking toys away from her or blocking her from playing with her toys. When this happens we take the toys away or put her in time out. I know you say your son doesn't have anyone to play with, but you can keep working on sharing between you and him and his older sisters. If he wants all 10 cars and doesn't want to give one up take away all the cars from him. It doesn't happen overnight, but soon he'll realize he can either play with a few and share the others or not play with any at all. I think it's all about repetition- they need reminded again and again how to share. Good luck... to both of us! :)

    Answer by princesspalace at 12:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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  • teach him to share with the girls. Or buy duplicates. There are certain toys I don't ask my kids to share and they go up when she has friends over or we go out they don't come. Everything else is free for all. Sharing at this age is hard.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 10:26 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

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  • Some ways I've reinforced sharing in my house: Library - we ALL have to share those books. I play with him too and he has to share with me. If he cannot share, he either has to put the toy away and find a new one or stop playing altogether. Your son can learn to share with his sisters too the same way - by having them show an interest in his toys and playing with him - requiring him to share. Make sure he sees his sister sharing with each other - and use the word "sharing" whenever you can. It's a learned behavior, so everyone in your family can help him practice it. Even without toys - sharing space on the couch, sharing control over the TV programs, sharing snacks/treats. Set a rule that everyone has to share at least one thing a day - and make sure your son sees this behavior as part of the family. Good luck.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:29 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

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  • my son was an only child and did not want to share at all. I swear! He used to embarrass me so much! But it's not anyone's fault. He eventually got over it. just keep trying to get him to share. but be ready for plenty of melt downs.

    Answer by GMR at 10:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2009

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  • honestly my roles r if u cant share u cantplay sounds cruel but it works and u have to be consistent with it like "ok ifne u dont want to share then u get no toys at all take the problem toy away and set a time or even a day tell him u wont get this toy back untill so n so a time then when u give it back now u share or i will take it away aagain and when he is ever wiht other kids im sure he plays with there toys and u need to show him see alex is sharing now u cant play with his toys unless u share urs with him...or elimanate the problem all together by not bringin his toys to the bbq then he cant say mine bcuz he will have to share we r here to teac and raise our kids right and if we dont who will knowone

    Answer by tripadiamondmom at 2:11 PM on Jan. 26, 2009

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