Is there an appropriate way to spank your child?

I have done a lot of research on the "appropriate" way to spank children. Some of it seems far off and other things make sense. I was just wondering how you spank your children and what ages they are. Do you use something or just your hand? Bare bottom or clothed? Do you bend them over your knee? I have only used my hand and it depends on how bad the situation is but I have spanked bare bottomed and i have bent her over my knee sometimes. Most articles I find say to always use and implement on bare bottom over the knee...I don't completely agree.

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blessedwife08

Asked by blessedwife08 at 11:49 PM on Feb. 1, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (19)
  • I don't spank, but if I ever felt the need to I would follow dr. sears advice on spanking

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100.asp#T062102
    celticreverie

    Answer by celticreverie at 12:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • I don't, I don't have a need.
    Pauline3283

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 12:16 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • We do spank our kids It is very rare and ONLY for out right, blatant disobedience. They get a warning first; If they do it again, we tell them they are getting a spanking and ask them why they are getting one. (To make sure they understand what they did that is resulting in getting one) After they answer, we explain that we gave them a warning, but they chose to disobey anyway. We use a wooden or nylon spoon, bend them over our knee and give them a couple swats. (never on a bare bottom, that's demeaning and not appropriate at all) Then they sit in the chair a minute to think about why they were spanked. After a couple of minutes, we put them on our lap and talk to them about the situation, let them know we love them, they say they are sorry, we give hugs and kisses, it's over and done with and we go on with our day.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 12:51 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • My mother used to put me over her knee and spank my bare bottom. I would NEVER do that to my children. Never ever... It was absolutely awful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • We really don't spank our children. I mean, we are teaching them it is wrong to hit in any situation, what makes it right for us to hit them? To teach them fear? I do understand that for some people it works, we just try not to do it in our household. There have been a few times, but for the most part we try to make the punishment fit the crime...they break something, they do chores to replace it. They are mean to someone, they do something nice for that person. They make a mess, they clean up twice as much as they made. It works.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:37 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • I only spank when it is absolutely necessary, like it one of them takes off towards the road. When I do use the spanking method I want them to know and understand that what they did was pretty serious that's why I only use it in certain circumstances. Right now my son is going through his terrible two's, so he has a big issue with hitting. Now for something like hitting I will not spank, because IMO that's teaching him to hit. When my son does this, he goes on time-out for 2 mins unless he is throwing a fit while in time-out, than he will sit there until he can remain calm. My daughter went through this stage as well and I have used the same method of discipline with both of them, and my daughter no longer hits. But to answer your question, I don't use anything to spank them with except my hand, and I don't spank them on their bare bottom.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • I spanked my kids bare bottom on bended knee with a wooden spoon. As I grow older I feel that this was wrong to do and would not encourage anyone else to do that. I feel appropriate spanking is bare bottom only for diaper wearers and with open hand only.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • I just swat my kids on the butt with my hand, I don't put the over my knee.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 9:25 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • Thank you so much for all of your advice! I do things almost exactly the same as BlessedMommy64 except I never use anything except my hand. Neither does my husband.
    blessedwife08

    Answer by blessedwife08 at 10:11 AM on Feb. 2, 2009

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  • The reason we use a "paddle" is because to us it it a neutral object and we want our hands to be associated with love and giving, not as the object of punishment. However, there are times we have just used our hand, and it wasn't a big deal. If done properly, spanking does not teach children that "hitting" is OK. Controlled spanking is different from just smacking your hit anywhere you want for any reason. It is scriptural and when done sparingly and for only certain offenses, it is an effective tool in training and rearing your children. For some really sound advice on whether or not to spank, or for advice on basic disciplining techniques, we recommend reading the book, "Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 2:19 PM on Feb. 2, 2009

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