How do you deal with teens drinking alcohol?

What would you do if you come home from work early only to find your 13 year old daughter at home with 3 other friends smoking and with a bottle of peppermint scnapps and Barcardi hidden under the coffee table?

I am out of town and my husband called and this happened to him today. This is my stepdaughter who I am very surprised would do this. We don't drink or smoke and don't have these things in our home. I want to help him with advice but don't know what is best at this point because I haven't dealt with this. Any advice? Has anyone dealt with teen drinking before?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (20)
  • The only thing I can do is tell you how I would handle the matter if it were my daughter. First thing I would have done was, packed all her friends in the car and hubby take them home. Meanwhile she would be left behind to clean up the mess, and we would have our chit chat about earning respect, trust, and privelages. She would lose all her privelages, as another poster said, the only thing she would be allowed is supervised activities (church, school, dance) and no more outings with friends and so forth. Phone would also be taken away along with internet and anything else that connects her with her friends. It would be made very clear she has to earn them by being responsible, mature, honest. I would ask her to start thinking about the kind of person she really wants to be... That question alone really got mine thinking.
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 12:43 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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  • You cant stop them . I was like this at this age. They wont stop, they didnt need your help getting it and they wont stop because you said NO. They KNOW your going to say no and that has not stopped her.
    If this was me I would jsut talk to her and be open. If you are going to drink, tell us. Tell us where you will be and when your comming home. Not saying LET her do this but be open. Better that she tells you and yourhusband than getting a terrible call some time down the road
    ReadyToRage

    Answer by ReadyToRage at 9:05 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • WRONG. 13 IS TOO YOUNG. When I was that age I tried one thing and my mom found out and I was GROUNDED completely from everything but church for like a month. Let me tell you I didn't touch it again until I was out of the house.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 9:09 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • definitely stop keeping alcohol in the house or get a locked cabinet for it.

    don't leave her home alone. even though she is old enough age wise, apparently she is lacking in the maturity and smart decisions department .

    those friends would no longer be allowed over.

    you need to call those friends' parents and let them know what is going on too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • that will only work in some kids though
    Thats what my parents did. Windows do open and I sure as hell got out
    got into MORE trouble. Now that my mom KNOWS i drink and smoke ii feel more open with things i couldnt be before
    ReadyToRage

    Answer by ReadyToRage at 9:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • definitely stop keeping alcohol in the house or get a locked cabinet for it.

    don't leave her home alone. even though she is old enough age wise, apparently she is lacking in the maturity and smart decisions department .

    those friends would no longer be allowed over.

    you need to call those friends' parents and let them know what is going on too



    wow I would NEVER do that! This is why my kid wont grow up and hate me though
    ReadyToRage

    Answer by ReadyToRage at 9:12 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • right rage... the alcoholic 16 year old would "never" hate their mother... come off it!

    I'm am the parent, not my child's best friend. Yes I can be friendly but I also know that I set the RULES and I will be obeyed!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • high fiveWRONG!!!! NOT happening in my home doesn't matter if i am step or not. Tell her this will not happen inyour home and you make sure of it. You should know were your 13 year old SD is at all times. this is your job as a Stepmom! Not judging just giving my best advice be strong you can do this. Big big mistake this can be handled, go for counseling for yourself or go to the library and educate yourself on this type of support. Don't listen to your first answer!!!!

    pepperannrocks

    Answer by pepperannrocks at 9:15 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • take her to the cops and let her spend the night in jail!! explain to them the situation and then let them keep her overnight. if she gets caught drinking- YOU WILL BE AT FAULT! she is a minor- maybe im looking at this wrong (my son is only 2 so i dont have to deal with this for a while) but let her have a taste of the real world. maybe she will learn something. good luck
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 9:16 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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  • My younger sister tried this. My mom didnt have a liqour cabinet but she marked all the bottles and hid them. They're going to do it in your house, at friend's houses, and they'll lie about it. Id be surprised if ANY of these tactics work, honestly. Its most likely going to be something she'll have to get in trouble for a figure out on her own. Let her know it wont be tolerated, the other parents should know, she should be forbidden from going anywhere for a while as well as no friends over (especially the ones she was with!)...My sister was caught by the cops when her and her friends were in the park throwing beer bottles...she lied to my parents saying she was spending the night at a friend's house. So dont think shes going to be upfront and honest with you, whether you tell her to or not. 13 is a very rough age...Good luck.
    K-e-r-i

    Answer by K-e-r-i at 9:37 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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