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How do I help my developmentally delayed son behave?


Asked by oliviasmom2574 at 7:15 PM on Feb. 19, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (9)
  • Like any other child, your son gets frustrated b/c he can't communicate or do what he wants its just that he is in a bigger body which can make it even rougher for you and him. It is important to be consistent and somehow patient.
    Just PLEASE don't give up, know that although your son has Dev.Dis. he CAN learn and it is VERY IMPORTANT, even more than with a child without DD that you are consistent and enforce app. behavior.
    I just feel very strongly b/c I work with children with DD at the M.S. and now H.S. age and its very difficult to break 12 + years of not learning how to be appropiate but now they are adult size.
    Our children CAN and DO learn it just takes longer, actually its why I love the term Developmentally DELAYED -- a delay just means it takes a little longer.
    My thoughts will be with you and yours.

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 10:50 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

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  • look at the world through his eyes and validate his feelings...ex: "I know your mad right now and I understand".....Being sensitve and understanding is key I know I have been there! I have an almost 22 yr ols asperger's daughter and the first 10 yrs were the toughest.
    Hang in there before you know this too will have passed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

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  • Counseling for him and you should help. Has the person who diagnosed him referred you?

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 7:17 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

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  • sending you a chatter box note :D

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:20 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

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  • The first question that comes to my mind is, does your son also have delay's in his language? Does he have trouble communicating his wants and needs to you? Many times when kids don't have appropriate expressive language, they get very frustrated when they can't make their wishes known. This causes alot of tantrums! If this is the case then you need to find him a way to talk to you. If you contact me I can give you some suggestions. If that is not the problem, then possibly because of his special needs he may not understand what you are wanting him to do or he is just pushing your buttons and knows your limitations. If a child is throwing fits, chances are that that behavior is working for him somewhere. Try to figure out why, when and where the tantrums are occuring. Most of the time, it is best to redirect him to something else or place him in time out . Make sure he is in a safe place and let him have the fit.

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 10:54 PM on Feb. 19, 2009

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  • Have you tried occupational therapy? Also I know that for moms with children who have these issues consistency and schedules are important. Try to keep everything running on a consistent basis and every day on a similiar schedule, that way you can chart what seems to set you child off most. Bless you for having the patience and the love to deal with your sons problems, he is lucky to have a mom like you!

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 3:25 AM on Feb. 20, 2009

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  • I empathise with you having had a son who was diagnosed at 13 months with GDD (global developmental delays).He didn't talk, walk, eat and it was very frustrating on both sides.

    Your son is dealing with the frustration of not being able to communicate his feelings to you. He doesn't fit into the regular category of other children as his behaviour falls outside the norm. I wanted to get my son a T-shire with a slogan on it to explain his behaviour when we were out.

    Your son should have a support system in place including occupational, physical and speech therapy and you should have a key worker. Ask the key worker to refer you to a social worker. We had one and she was a wonderful supporter and great with offering practical help.
    What you should remember is that you are in a great place of uncertainty with no real answers and that in itself is tough to deal with. Try to step back and see things from his perspecti

    Answer by lovebdus at 11:25 PM on Aug. 16, 2009

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  • You took the words right out from my mouth!! If they don't have a child with DD, they don't understand. My daughter is 4 and she too was diagnosed with developmental delays (boderline MR and severe speech delay). in the past year, her speech has progressed to the point that she is able to communicate her basic needs (potty, hungry, go play). But OMG, her behavior can be out of control. while in public, she would throw tantrums to the point that i would have to toss her over my shoulders and walk away. I would often lose my temper and yell at her. I don't want to but it I felt so frustrated. I have learned to keep my calm by not letting her annoy me. now, when ever she screems, i bend down to her level, look into her eyes and calmly ask her to tell me or show me what she needs. when she cries exsesively, i place my arms around her and carres her hair while singing her favorite song. this really calms her down.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 12:49 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

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  • to answer your question, you need to learn what works for you. Yes the therapy sessions do help by teaching us how to redirect their behaviors but as the parent, i recommend that you should join a support group.

    Answer by alejandra559 at 12:54 AM on Nov. 24, 2009

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