How do I go about writing a letter to my birth mother?

i need help writing my dear birth mother letter

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starkitty

Asked by starkitty at 9:11 PM on Feb. 21, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (13)
  • to your OWN birth mother? I would just say anything that you want to say to her...
    ZaTa

    Answer by ZaTa at 9:30 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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  • if the adoptive mom was going to write me a letter, i would just want her to tell me what she wants me to know.

    i'm not sure i can spell it out for you what to say. be personal and i'm sure she'll appreciate it. i know i would! =]
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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  • ^^^ i didn't mean to answer anon. oops.
    BriasMommy_827

    Answer by BriasMommy_827 at 9:40 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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  • ummm...just sit down and say
    dear whoever,
    my name is jo and i am writing to you to day to tell you that you are my birth mother. i don't know how you feel about me contacting you but i'd like to have some questions answered/get medical history/meet you. i know you are not obligated to do this but i am hoping that you will agree since its something i need to do.
    if not i need you to know i am happy, healthy, had a great childhood and had a great family.
    sincerely
    you

    or whatever.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 11:03 PM on Feb. 21, 2009

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  • Umm.. my only advice is to PLEASE do NOT call her a birth mother.

    The day she signs her rights off, is the day she will be a birth mother.

    Call her by name.. right now.. she's a mother expecting a child.
    rainfalls

    Answer by rainfalls at 12:11 AM on Feb. 22, 2009

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  • I wanted to add one more thing.. I was continuously called a "birth mother" before I even had my son, or signed off my rights.

    When I was in the hospital and it was a new nurse who came in.. she called me by name. I finally felt "normal," and it was a good feeling. It was awful being labeled something I wasn't quite yet.

    I felt like I was being treated as this object and not a human being who has feelings.
    rainfalls

    Answer by rainfalls at 12:14 AM on Feb. 22, 2009

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  • Just don't look for castles !.I found my birthmom first,& she was an alcoholic.She came to visit(w/her boyfriend).She also promised me many things,such as telling my brother about me.She lived in Orlando,& after we met & she went home,she got hateful w/me(didn't help that her friend stuck his tongue down my throat(& I told her).Anyhow,she & boyfriend are now hiding in Saint Joe ,Ark.She thinks I do not know where she is,but I do . Also,she did not even want to know if I had a girl or a boy.Very loving@ 1st,then very hateful??My bio -dad is a different story.I look EXACTLY like him.Also have a brother,sister,& niece.My dad-in-law saw a pic of my sister& thought it was me(she is blonde,tho).Of course I'd love to know them all,but must not put myself 1st.Biodad sends me letters & emails w/pix.His wife knew nothing about me.He married her right after I was born.I had great adoptive parent's,now deceased.Very hard situation..Hurts
    cafeangel

    Answer by cafeangel at 2:13 AM on Feb. 22, 2009

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  • Please, whatever you do, don't call the woman a birth mother. As another said, until she signs away her rights to her baby, she is an expectant mother. Agencies and lawyers market the "dear birthmother" letters as a way to convince an expectant mother that she is no longer the child's parent. The term is used frequently, used to make the woman consider her child someone else's.
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 12:37 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

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  • It seems like you need to give us more information, are you writing to your biological mother, or have you adopted or are going to adopt the baby from the birth mother?
    Yasmin

    Answer by Yasmin at 3:21 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

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  • Wow, I was never bothered being called the birthmother, when I get to see our son (he is 13) his mom and I hang out and she introduces me as his birthmom, and I am proud of it. Ironically, he is the only child I have had that looks like me. I am proud to be a birthmom. Maybe it is due to the relationship we all have though.
    Yasmin

    Answer by Yasmin at 3:24 PM on Feb. 22, 2009

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