Is the CIO method abusive?

I have a 6 month old that will not nap for me, and nighttime is equally draining. She's exhausted and needs sleep (rubbing eyes, yawning..) but the moment we go to her room to start the 'putting-down' routine, she screams bloody murder. With my son, I let him cio, but it was nowhere near as dramatic and horrid as this! He'd usually just fuss, and that was it. I'm desperate to find a solution, but also am a sahm to a 2 year old too, and can't spend hours upon hours everyday just do rock her down.

What worked for you? If you used CIO, how much and to what extreme did your baby cry? I don't want to cause her harm by any means, but it seems like nothing is working for her and she's exhausted. Is CIO ok?

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aschwer

Asked by aschwer at 1:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (67)
  • All kids are different, maybe you need to hold and rock her to sleep, but if she is like mine he wakes up the minute he is laid in the crib but if I lay him in my bed he sleeps. Good luck, IDK waht to tell you.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 1:12 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • Abusive, NO. However I wouldn't do it while she's that young.I have a 5 month old and a 3 year old. my 3 year old knows when I put baby brother down it takes time. She stays out of trouble and lets me put him down without interruption...usually.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 1:12 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • if you have to rock her do it.....it's better then letting her scream this young.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 1:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • Maybe you should try these ideas if you haven't already. Start a strict routine, feed her at a certain time, let her play for a little while, then give her a warm bath. After that try holding her for a little while so she calms down and isn't wound up. Then try putting her down. My little boy didn't like the seperation, so I would do all of the above and then pat his back while he was in his crib and once he fell asleep I would slowly stop patting and walk away quietly. Worked everytime.
    sidzwif

    Answer by sidzwif at 1:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • Abusive ...not really. Neglagent. yea. not baby under a year old should CIO. When they start getting older then 12 months ...well, you might use it some. ...but under a year old there is NO reason to CIO. All that baby is trying to do is learn that he/she is in a safe and loving enviornment and CIO is going to teach them the opposite.

    hold your baby as your putting her to sleep. and dont lay her down in the crib until she's all out. like you can lift up each limb and its completly limp and relaxed. Also, ...if that's not an option for you or in conjunction with, try putting on some soft rytmic music in the baby's room. Babies hate silence. it's scary to feel alone when you're so little and they are used to noise.
    Good luck!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:15 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • When my son is tired I put him down and give him 5-10 minutes to fuss, then if he's not out and still crying, I pick him up, sing to him, read to him, talk to him, play with him. And usually within a half hour he's ready to go down. Everyone is different. Every baby is different. You love your baby. You do what you feel is best for your baby. That's just what works for me. Good luck honey! PS is CIO "cry it out"?
    madrigalreject

    Answer by madrigalreject at 1:16 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • by the way my son will not sleep on his back and since he can hold his head up and roll over on his own, i put him to sleep on his belly. most babies do not like being on their backs. so i know you're not supposed to but my son WILL NOT sleep on his back so i said, screw it i slept on my belly and we've never had much problems after i've let him sleep on his belly.
    madrigalreject

    Answer by madrigalreject at 1:17 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • NO, its not abusive.
    However there are right ways and wrong ways to CIO and most never pay attention to the RIGHT way to do it before calling it evil,etc.

    What worked with my sons was letting them cry for about 10-15 mins. 90% of the time that was all that was needed before they were asleep and fine. If not then Id go in, rub their backs and sing or talk quietly to them and then Id sit on the floor(after they were asleep) and stay there for a few mins just out of eye sight. Then maybe like 5 mins later Id crawl to the door and sit there for another few mins and then Id leave and close the door. It worked every time.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 1:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • Try the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book. IMO CIO in any form is abusive that young. My children both nursed and rocked to sleep until about 12 months and that was when I started the No Cry Sleep Solution methods to put them down. Now at 3.5 years and 20 months they are both great sleepers.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 1:49 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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  • Yes and no. A baby at six months still needs holding. I would put my 2 yo down before the baby. Can you put the baby in a safe place while you do bedtime with the two year old? Then cuddle the baby till she/he goes to sleep? I don't agree with CIO, but honestly there are times when it has to happen. Good luck momma and realize every one is different. Just do what is best for your family.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 23, 2009

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