How do I cope with my son's speech developmental delay?

My son just turned two (2) in Jan. and has only been trying to talk since Oct. He's had multiple ear infections and had tubes put in right after he truned one. I've had his hearing checked, he can hear. He goes to speech therapy and it's helped. However he isn't saying anything correctly. Like ELMO is BELLMO or PIZZA is TASZA. He minds for the most part. He understands what I tell him to go do, but as far as talking, it's like he just isn't getting it. I know that I'm not mad at him, but I'm really pissed. I want him to talk. I was really advanced, but I feel like he's way behind and it hurts my heart. HELP!!

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CM2TX08

Asked by CM2TX08 at 3:08 AM on Feb. 28, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (12)
  • The pronunciation sounds right for his age. My daughter just turned 31 months and her speech is only just now sounding a little more clear.
    Remember, there are many, many sounds in the english language. Some perfectly normal kids don't say them all correctly until 7 years old. Since he's in speech therapy, take advantage and ask his therapist. She'll tell you this is normal. Toddlers will drop whole chuncks of words, switch syllables around, use sounds they can make in place of ones they can't make yet.

    And you are not a failure. You got him help for his ear infections, didn't you? You made sure he got tubes when he needed them, didn't you? You had his hearing checked and kept track of his development, didn't you? You got him speech therapy as soon as it was obvious he was lagging a little behind, didn't you? GOOD FOR YOU! YOUR DOING A GREAT JOB AND HE'LL PROSPER BECAUSE OF IT! WAY TO GO!
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:07 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • That's a common emotion for parents of delayed kids. I know it's hard to feel grateful when you're child is behind but really he is talking. Just because the words aren't pronounced correctly doesn't mean that they aren't words, if he is being consistent with those sounds and you know the mean certain things, he is communicating. It's great that he's in therapy, that will help a lot. By the way, I understand where you're coming from, my daughter has global delays, she just turned 3 last week and she is at a 22-24 month level for cognitive, speech, fine and gross motor. She's been in therapy since 10 months. Hang in there. Think about joining a group for parents of developmentally delayed kids, it can be a good support.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 3:17 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • Give it time. Children will develop language at their own pace. Don't worry too much over it. If anything, your child will be tested in Kinder if the teacher feels the need. Your little one is so young. My son didn't start speaking clearly until he was almost five.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • ^^ Ok I'm not bashing anon, but I hate that approach. I call it "late bloomer-itis" and it is a syndrome that many parents think children suffer from. Children with delays often have reasons for those delays, some not serious, but medical reasons none the less. Like my daughter, she has hypotonia (low muscle tone) although we haven't found a diagnosis beyond that yet.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 3:30 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • People say not to compare your child to other children, but that's HARD! I'm not even the competitive type, but I find myself embarrassed that he isn't on the same level. I knwo he could be reading third grade books by this time next year. I've seen it happen with kids, but it doesn't change that I feel really crappy about it. I am having a really hard time. I am really torn. I know that chances are he will be just fine, but it's that other chance of him having real problems. I don't know how to do this and not give myself a heart attack or stroke worrying. LITERALLY. I'm 24 and have high blood pressure!!
    CM2TX08

    Answer by CM2TX08 at 3:31 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • Anon...having a kid with a severe speech delay myself, let me enlighten you...waiting until kindergarten is TOO DAMN LATE.

    CM2TX...I have two in speech. There is nothing you did wrong, there is nothing you missed, there is nothing more you could have done. It takes time. Stop beating your self up, stop blaming yourself and turn that wasted energy into working with your son. It takes time. My youngest said his first word at 22 months after starting speech. He's now 27 months and finally starting to use phrases. He is only understood 25% of the time...his age should be 51 - 75%.

    Work with him as the speech therapist says to...follow her directions and help him. Model correct articulation the way you're supposed to.

    I have two with speech delays. One of those, and my oldest are on the autism spectrum. You want to feel "crappy"...step into my damn shoes. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and help your son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • we have almost the same problem, my son is turning 3 this march 22 and he also had a global delay due to his speech, i know that all mother who had this kind of global delay are all worrying about it. he just utter word now and he's also on speech theraphy, it help him also but he's too moody boy, if he doesn't like, he won't. maybe if your is like that too you should check if he needs an occupational theraphy first. because my son help him a lot when he first take occupational theraphy and speech theraphy and now i'm planning to try him to a preschool this coming year so he knows how to communicate with other children.
    luisa7154

    Answer by luisa7154 at 8:13 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • What is the speech therapists opinion? And your doctors? If they feel like everything is fine (no medical problems) then I would just relax. My son is 3 and has only recently started to talk. He is SO different from my other two (1 1/2 years and 4 months). My other son babbled as a baby and has made sounds from the beginning. He even repeats words back to us. My 3 year old never had any interest in speech. He didn't even try! He is so busy with other things, I think speech is just not a priority right now. Follow your gut, and if it and the doctors say nothing is wrong, just relax. (Although it is SO ANNOYING when people would tell me what I was doing wrong - as if I could somehow MAKE him talk)!
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 9:13 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • CM2TX, is he delayed in everything, or only speech? Our LO started walking at 9 mos & is very advanced other than speaking. We were told that if they become mobile early, the speech is naturally delayed because he is TOO BUSY to stop and listen. He is on the move, no time to slow down! He understands us, he can communicate his needs by pointing & gesturing,etc. but because we too were a bit concerned, we had him evaluated by Early Childhood Intervention (ECI). They work with children 0-36 mos. We did choose to do the speech therapy even though he scored HIGH in cognitive (understanding), motor skills-both gross & fine, and other things...mainly because after 36 months the services end. If the speech helped to "catch him up", fine, but I was in no way convinced that he wouldn't start talking eventually, just in his own time. It is only a "delay" on average, because some are above/below the AVERAGE. (con't below)
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:36 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • My oldest has a severe speech and language/comprehension disorder, he will be graduating this year and it has been hard for him...but he is graduating.

    What you feel is normal, every mom of a delayed child feels this way. There are days were I still do, you are lucky that he comprehends, my son didn't and had very limited speech well into the 1st grade.

    But I want to add that a LOT of kids feel no need to talk before 2 -2 1/2, of my 7 kids only one (my last) talked before 2, I was ALWAYS worried, but in time they would open thier mouths and talk. My last started at 19 months, and I have had a lot of comments on how advanced his speech is, BUT he was not the norm. I guess my point is that a lot of kids do it when they are ready, not when we want them to. Patience is going to be your best friend on this journey with your little guy, give him time he will amaze you. His speech delay is in no way an indicator of his future.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:41 AM on Feb. 28, 2009

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