How can you start the process of finding a birth parent?

We are very leary about paying someone to help with all the scams going on out there. Does anyone have any ideas on how he could find his birth mother?

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Acove2

Asked by Acove2 at 3:17 AM on Mar. 1, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (11)
  • try bighugs.com or call talk shows and see which matching services they use to reconnect
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • TRY ROOTSWEB.COM IT'S FREE AND THEY HAVE A POST OF BIRTH MOM/ ADOPTED CHILD !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • Shea's Search Series
    The Definitive Guide to Self-Empowered Adoptee Search
    http://www.bastards.org/search/series.html

    State Adoption Disclosure Laws
    At a Glance
    http://www.bastards.org/activism/access.htm

    State by State Adoption Search and Support Group listings
    http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/whereg.shtml

    "how to" search article and state laws- know what you're entitled to have disclosed. also, search and support groups. DON'T pay anyone to search on your (dh's) behalf!

    I have other links and resource pages posted in my Adoption Search Resource list.
    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 5:45 AM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • It depends on if he was adopted through an agency or privately. I found my biological mother by going through the agency from which I was initially adopted. I had to pay a small fee, but they did all of the work for me.
    AlyKen

    Answer by AlyKen at 1:36 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • If your husband was adopted through an agency, that is the best place to start. Telll him to ask first for his non-id info and ask if the agency offers any search help. Adoption laws differ from state to state. In some states, adoptees can initiate searches through agencies.

    If his adoption was private or through social services, he will need to request his non-id from the state. A few states offer information on their state websites about adoption information and the laws regarding it in that particular state.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 4:32 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • If the agency (or state post-adoption unit, ect) offers to do your search....PLEASE be aware that there are conditions and qualifications for the searcher to have access to identifying info. on the party they are seeking.


     I used a state intermediary. I can tell you how they don't work for all of us. Intermediaries are individuals approved by the court to have an adoption file released to (only) them upon petition by an adoptee or birthparent. The intermediary then searches for the other party to obtain consent for identifying information to be released. You have NO say on how, when, where that contact is made. When I searched in 1996- fees ranged from $200 to $600.  All I got was a canceled check for my effforts. 


    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:06 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • Please read: The Intermediary System is Not the Solution http://www.bastards.org/activism/theinter.html


    No Confidential Intermediaries
    by
    Alicia Lanier


    http://www.geocities.com/tmusso.geo/nocis.html

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:06 PM on Mar. 1, 2009

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  • When my dd wanted to find her birth father I simply sent a generic letter out to all of the men by the name we were given when she was adopted. It never accused anyone of fathering her but stated the bare facts and gave a PO Box if they were interested in contacting her. We got lucky in that there were only 8 men with that name in the area she came from and the letter actually went to an aunt's home who passed it on to my dd birth dad
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 11:21 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

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  • ********If it helps, it wasn't through and agency. It was private. He has NO names to go off of. He basically has no info except the hospital where he was born and the date. lol. ********
    Acove2

    Answer by Acove2 at 11:34 AM on Mar. 2, 2009

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  • If you have the hospital & day he was born you just need a way for them to release the info to you. Surely there can be that many births on that day. At the most a couple of dozen if it was a hugh hospital. Then you rule out the girls, other races and should be down to just a few possibilities. I'm just not sure how to get the info. I'd see if you can check local newspapers for births that day and see if the hospital would release info. Best of luck!
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 9:06 AM on Mar. 3, 2009

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