How do adoptive parents tell their children about their adoption?

how do adoptive parents tell there kids that there adopted and how do the kids take it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Mar. 16, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (23)
  • Adoption is just a normal word in our home. Most of our kids came to us old enough to remember not being here, but not all of them. We talk about birthparents, adoption, and the story of how they came to us. I think if you just make it a part of their lives instead of an "announcement" at some point, then they think of it in the same way that you do. We just teach them that it is one of the special ways that God used to bring them to their forever family. The kids are fine with it and it is our normal!
    mommy9

    Answer by mommy9 at 2:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • Having been adopted is not a bad thing, so we talk about it as such. Adoption is a beautiful way that God uses to build a family and give children the families that EVERY child deserves. Some children stay with the women that gave birth to them, some do not. It is pretty simple and kids seem to complicate it less than some adults seem to want to. We talk freely and openly about the way God built our family, about their birth mothers (although we did not have the option for open adoptions), and about how amazing it is that God brought our family together from all around the world, yet He know from the beginning of time that he would bond us together via adoption.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • I'm adopted and so is my brother... We just kinda grew up knowing. Not that my parents were like "o your adopted" 24/7 but we celebrated things about our adoption. We did "gottcha days" every year on the days we were adopted. (The fair was always in town around my date so we'd go there and to dinner and talk about what a blessing it was to be a family and everything) My parents also have a picture frame that says Our Adopted Children on it with this beautiful poem on it. And when I went through a really rough time (I found info on my biological parents and was devestated and took it out on my parents) My mom always told me "Michelle some moms get pregnant and have to wait 9 whole months to have their baby, we had to wait nine whole years to have you. You were well worth the wait and your right there is a difference between being adopted and being born from me, the difference is that we CHOSE you and you weren't an accident,
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 2:19 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • we prayed for you and felt like we were complete when we got you." That made me feel a lot better... Also try reading the book "the chosen child" its about adoption and aimed at kids
    theheartbaby

    Answer by theheartbaby at 2:20 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • i know its normal and its a gift from god i wish more moms would give there babies away rather then killing them...i was just wondering becuz one of my best friends has asked me to carry her baby cuz she cant but they are going to use my egg and her husbands sperm if i do it becuz she dont produce eggs...it will be open but she will be the mom i will be more like the aunt but idk if i have the strenth to do it even though she deseverse a baby a billion times more then anyone i know...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • My neighbor has two adopted children. On her wall she has this poem, that always brings tears of emotion to my eyes:
    Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, that you grew not under my heart, but in it.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:24 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • My husband and his little brother were both adopted. His parents told them both when they were old enough to realize what adoption meant. He was 3 when they adopted him and he remembers being in and out of foster homes and remembers stuff about when his parents first got him. His mom was only 15/16 years old when she had him so she gave him up. His parents were blessed to adopt them both because they were unable to have children. Don't hide it from them for their whole life or it makes it worse when someone slips and tells them. Tell them when they're young enough to know.
    agrafel

    Answer by agrafel at 2:24 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • my dad and his brother was also adopted to and i had my first son at 16 i keep him and married his dad...my life is great how it is and im having my 2nd son...but adoption is great and i just wanted to know how u tell someone cuz i have friends that are adopted and they took it way wrong and i just wanted to know how to make them fell better about the fact that God gave him to a loveing family for his own good
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • My kids all know how they became part of our family, it's never been a secret. We have sat down to talk about it one on one when each child needed more answers, but they know how much work it takes for me to bring a new sibling into our home. That being said the baby is 3 and she is the last one for me. She knows she was adopted and we talk about her story openly because hers was an extrodinary journey. She also has 5 brothers and one sister who will also be keepers of her story, so she will have a lot of people to ask when she has questions.
    7babies4me

    Answer by 7babies4me at 3:15 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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  • I always knew. My parents told me from the time I was little. IMO, it is best to spell it out right away. That way, when the kids have questions, they can ask and you can answer, instead of them finding out wrong answers. I also believe it is actually easier on the aparents, because they do not have to worry about telling the kids later in life or about them finding out on their own.
    IZs_mommy

    Answer by IZs_mommy at 4:42 PM on Mar. 16, 2009

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