What should I do if my daughter is starting puberty and has poor hygene?

She has started growing pubic hair in the past couple of months and discharging as well as growing boobs. I work with her on a daily basis and have to stay on top of her to clean herself and change her underwear, put a bra on!!!!, put deodorant on, to even brush her teeth. I often find her dirty underwear behind the dresser or under the bed. What can I do to help her?????


Asked by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Mar. 20, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (9)
  • Lay off and let her figure it out on her own. Teach her to do her own laundry so she isn't all embarrassed and hiding underwear. You can't force her. A book on self-care might help. I got one from American Girl for my soon to be 9yo who is no where near puberty yet. Figured it couldn't hurt to start prepping her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

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  • ^_^

    She's 10.

    Give her some time. But advise her, don't nag.
    She'll listen to friendly advice and learn from it better.

    Answer by Anjeey at 5:16 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

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  • I know it is frustrating but just remember when you were young, how would you have wanted your mom to handle it?

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:10 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

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  • Let her figure it out for herself. My friends daughter is 14 and she rarely takes a shower, brushes her teeth, changes her underware. She doesn't wipe after peeing and then complains when she gets an infection down there (or irritated). We have explained over and over again what she has to do and she refuses. We even tell her that she stinks and she thinks it is funny. She will get made fun of at school and then she may learn. The first infection your daughter gets may change her mind. OR you can stand outside of the shower and tell her what parts to wash and stand there until she does it. I had to do this with my 12 yr old son and he learned real quick, so did his friends teasing him because he reeked. Peer pressure can be good too.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:33 PM on Mar. 20, 2009

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  • Take her for a special day to the spa where she can be pampered. Teach her that way. Let her choose to have her hair done etc,..

    Answer by akhlass at 12:05 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

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  • I am in nursing school and recently gave "The Talk" to 4th and 5th graders. I explained that growing up means their body is/will be changing soon. They have to be careful not to become the "stinky kid" in school by showering daily, using deoderant with antipersperant, and wearing clean clothes. I found some great info at www.kidshealth.org just search for "All About Puberty". Have you tried taking her to the store and letting her pick out some personal care items--toothbrush/paste, shampoo & conditioner, body wash, deoderant with antipersperant, and perfume? My son often jokes about his "Man smell" and won't think about going to school without his deoderant and cologne.

    Answer by jenlin627 at 12:31 AM on Mar. 21, 2009

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  • this might sound harsh...but kids making fun of her will change her habits real quick.

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 2:00 AM on Mar. 23, 2009

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  • Well, it is hard because at 10 she is still mentally a little kid but her body is changing. It sounds to me like this is her way of resisting the changes that are happening. Hopefully this is just a phase she is going through and she will eventually come around. I do think you need to be sensitive to what she is going through.... I like the idea of taking her shopping and letting her pick out some things....make it fun. She is still a kid! But being clean is important. My son is 11, and he is still a kid in this regard, but I am anticipating his resistance to increasing his showering already! He can still get away with skipping a day or two....but that won't last forever!

    Answer by BJoan at 9:18 AM on Mar. 24, 2009

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  • My son has had "The Talk" with my Hubby. He understands everything about girls and how his voice will be changing. He has started taking showers every morning and he also puts cologne. My daughter is only 7 and I will give her the talk when she is 9. I think she wants to be a little kid but she doesn't realize this is natural. She will soon learn from her friends that she will need to start keeping her self clean. As fo the underwear, have her wash it herself. She needs to learn to take care of herself.

    Answer by lovinlife4kids at 9:54 AM on Mar. 28, 2009

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