1 Bump

Do you check on your teens to see if they're sexting?

do you go on you child’s myspace, or email, or even their cell phone and check what they are doing? do you feel like you are violating their privacy?

  • SHARE THIS QUESTION:
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Mar. 27, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (43)
  • i check everybody in my home e-mail, cell phone and all. infact my ds/dh haven't a clue i check voice mail every now and again. when my dd get a diary i will check that to, it might be wrong but my parents did it to me and i turned out fine, that gave my mom's a heads up on what i was up to,
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 12:03 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Credits: 656 Level 12
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Of course I would never do that! What a way to break trust... I would expect my to be doing those things - it's normal. But to hover over them and make them feel like I am their warden, will not happen! If you trust your kids, you wouldn't do this... And if you can't trust your kids YOU did something wrong!!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Credits: 122988 Level 40
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I would never do that to a teen. I think if you don't trust them enough to know they wouldn't do that then you shouldn't let them on myspace or a phone and stuff
    Aimee789135

    Answer by Aimee789135 at 2:50 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • ha the only people who would say back off is teens themselves. i think if they live in your household they wont have complete privacy ecspecially if you pay the bills and you bought the computer for them. im 20 and yea my mom went thru my stuff all the time and i got in trouble but i shouldnt have been doing it in the first place anyways. so i guess if teens are gonna be all whiny and say that they are being driven away then well they can move out and they wont have that problem
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I was reading where the 14 yr old girl was arrested for child porn for putting explicit pix on her myspace and they are considering expanding it to cell phones (charging as distributing child porn) so I think I would check it. PLUS she's being considered as a SEX OFFENDER now and will have to sign up as one in her state. Do you want that for your child? I don't think so. I say check it and to heck with privacy if the child is underage.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:02 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Credits: 49055 Level 31
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0


  • * thehappiestmom
    I was thinking the same thing. lol. I'm 23 years old so was a teen not that long ago, and my parents kept up on what we were doing. My mom never read my journals or note books, but she always checked the history on the computer and made sure to check in every few minutes to make sure we weren't doing anything bad on there. (only had a pre-paid phone, so no sexting for me, lol). Now I look at my DD and I find myself saying to my mom... I'm sorry, I understand now, just about every day, lmao.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:03 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Credits: 67320 Level 34
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • nswered at 12:42 PM on Mar. 28, 2009 by: SabrinaMBowen Of course I would never do that! What a way to break trust... I would expect my to be doing those things - it's normal. But to hover over them and make them feel like I am their warden, will not happen! If you trust your kids, you wouldn't do this... And if you can't trust your kids YOU did something wrong!!


    EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't have said it better myself! 

    chipper87

    Answer by chipper87 at 11:58 PM on Mar. 28, 2009

    Credits: 141 Level 6
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I do go through my kids myspace and their cell phones if I think something is going on but I tell them I can and will do it so they really never give me a reason too. I think if your honest with your kids and let them know that if you think there is a problem then you will go through their phone, myspace ect. than you are being protective and not intrusive. I wouldn't do it just to be nosy.
    nannabart

    Answer by nannabart at 3:17 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • We have all the passwords to their stuff. We are listed as "friends" on their facebook page, and they are not allowed to change that. We pay the extra $10 to get an itemized call by call phone bill if we need to check their phone records.

    They know we reserve the right to use this information at any point if we have reasonable cause. HOWEVER, as long as we don't feel there's a reason to check, then we will respect their privacy.

    To me, to not check if I think there's a problem is like saying, "well, my 4 yr old is in the street, but her friend lives over there, so who am I to stop her". It's up to me to give them freedom, but to make sure they're mature enough to handle it as they get it, and to keep them safe, even if sometimes it's from themselves, until they are ready to do it themselves. (and dangerous activities - including "sexting" shows they aren't mature enough to do it themselves...)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:43 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

    Credits: 18487 Level 24
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Oh, and the few times I've checked, I've either asked them about my concerns first, and it was worked out that way, or I checked their stuff, found what I was afraid I was going to find, and told them I did it, and that we needed to talk about this. (it was too much personal info on ds's webpage - his full name and cell phone number, after he knew he wasn't allowed to have that there. We went over it - again - why he couldn't do that, and I deleted it from the page and changed his passwords to his email and webpage, so to log onto it I had to physically be there, until he was ungrounded and earned our confidence that he could handle it back.)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:46 AM on Mar. 29, 2009

    Credits: 18487 Level 24
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN