Will encouraging my daughter to fight stop a bully?


Asked by bellasrose71008 at 7:55 PM on Aug. 20, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (7)
  • Oh man, 12 is a hard age, especially with bullying. I wouldn't have her "fight" as in physically fight the bully but I think she may need to talk to the person. Sometimes the best way to deal with them is to not deal with them. I had that problem at the age of 12 and I just left her alone. I didn't sit next to her, make any eye contact, and I was fine.

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 8:29 PM on Aug. 20, 2008

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  • jr. high ewww it should be against the law! lol she's gotta stop this her ignoring in my opinon is not the answer no direspect to the other mom intended, she needs to come straight out and ask this kid "what's your problem?" i would NOT want my baby fighting but asking her a question is going to get the hair pulling started, she has to make a stand for herself, she'll stand up for herself & the other bullies may think twice about making her their target, she'll get suspended for a couple days & it will be over (hopefully) but how would ANYBODY like having to go to a place EVERYDAY & worry about crap like this? do you remember how fast it takes1 lil rumor to get thru the whole school? in less time than it takes to change classes
    who sings the song that says
    you gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Aug. 20, 2008

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  • Most of the time bullies will stand down when confronted. The poster before is right. She needs to ask her "what's your deal?". She needs to do it like she means business and be prepared to stand her ground.

    Answer by burntpancakes at 10:03 PM on Aug. 20, 2008

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  • I honestly believe that if your daughter confronts the bully, that's what the bully wants. If the bully gets what she wants, she'll step up the harrassment.

    I'd discuss the problem with the teacher, ask her fo watch for conflict.

    I always tell my kids, if a child you know is involved in something you know is wrong, or is making you uncomfortable, don't tattle, go stand near the person who is in charge. If the offending party continues there, then THEY will get in trouble.

    Fact is, if you tell your child to retaliate, it's ALWAYS the second agressor that gets in trouble. The first agressor simply attracts the attention, causing people to notice the second action. The authority figure rarely sees the first infraction.

    Good luck.

    Answer by smellthewealth at 8:39 AM on Aug. 21, 2008

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  • I have always told my kids basicly dont start a fight but dont stand there and let someone abuse you either, but be prepared that if your child does end up in a fight that they will get in trouble as well. I have had this problem with one of my kids and she got suspended, she was 12 and a boy slapped her in the face, she promptly punched him in the nose and broke it, she was suspended for a week and during that week i changed her school. i didnt however punish her for getting in trouble because she did exactly what i think she should have done. ( this boy had been bothering her and she had reported it earlier)

    Answer by wubbunny420 at 11:36 AM on Aug. 23, 2008

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  • I know this is a old post. I believe that every school should have an anti-bullying policy. It's ridiculous what kids get away with these days.....the name calling is awful. But I know it happens everywhere. I am posting a link for Jodee Blanco's website. It has tips for both parents and students. I have read both of her books and they are both EXCELLENT!!! If you can't afford to purchase them, get them from your local library. It's well worth it.   Hope your daughter is doing better.



    Answer by momofdevin at 11:12 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

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  • YES, yes, and yes. A bully will only continue to bully when they know that the victim does not stand up for themselves. Have her take martial arts, teach her when to use it, only in self defense and let he take care of this bully, No one has a right to bully somebody else. You also have to make sure you tell your daughter to make sure that the bully is not carrying any weapons. Nowdays you never know, even scissors could be a weapon. Tell her to be careful but to stand up for herself.

    Answer by EricandAndreMom at 4:05 AM on Apr. 15, 2010

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