1 Bump

Is porn considered cheating?

A few nights ago a couple of friends and I went walking after dark, it's too hot to walk during the day. When they brought me back home, I noticed the light on in the study in the back of the house, where the computer is. When I walked in the house my husband wasn't in the living room, so I went in the study to see what he was doing and he had porn on the computer and he was, well, you know. I was in shock. I said, "what are you doing?" then I stormed out and didn't talk to him the rest of the night or the next day. I was sick to my stomach over it. I'm pretty open to trying new things, and he knows that. I feel as if I've been cheated on. What do you think? Has this happened to any of you?

  • SHARE THIS QUESTION:
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Sep. 13, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (106)
  • yes it's happened to me and know how you feel, let him know that it bothers you, tell him that if he wants to watch it that you can watch it together. or whatever you prefer. my bf knows how i feel about it and doesn't watch it any more.
    workenmom

    Answer by workenmom at 11:25 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Credits: 26 Level 3
    Votes up:1 Votes down:0
  • no idon't think it's cheating. every one masturbates at some point, and sometimes i don't think we even realize it. With men it is normal for them to pull their pud, thats what a dude does. Let him know it bothered you and ask him if there is another reason besides boredom that he was doin it.
    punkomama08

    Answer by punkomama08 at 11:31 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Credits: 113 Level 6
    Votes up:1 Votes down:0
  • I think anything that involves sexual pleasure and other women outside of your marriage is some form of cheating. He was doing it behind your back so yes...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Votes up:1 Votes down:0
  • Yes i know that feeling. & yes i consider it cheating ( I know I'm a minority there but don't care) if he knows how it makes you feel he should have enough respect for you to go along with it.
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 11:28 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Credits: 720 Level 12
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • In my opinion it is cheating. He's getting pleasure from someone else (whether it's in person or online). Yes, men masturbate but not only should they try to refrain from that (let you do the honors for him) but if they do it should be with their wife on their mind not someone else. I realize I'm in the minority as well but it's cheating plain and simple.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I don't consider it cheating. Men are visual...he felt that he needed some relef, and the best way to get turned on was to watch porn. They keep porn in the restrooms at the fertility clinics to give the husbands some "help" in that department, too.

    Men generally aren't as imaginative as we are. If I want to please myself, I can play a million different "fantasies" in my head without using porn. Is that cheating? Unless you're willing to make a porn flick that he can watch for his pleasure when you're gone, I don't think it's unreasonable to let him use it ...unless he beings turning you down to watch the porn.
    lawmom623

    Answer by lawmom623 at 11:50 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Credits: 51 Level 4
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I have a hubby who was a porn addict....when it came to sex he was having it with himself rather then with me. He had porn everywhere....magazines in the bedroom, dvd's and a collection of porn on the computer that was just ridiculous. THAT I considered cheating. So what you're dude whacked off...I'm sure he's done it before but you just didn't catch him until now. So he was AT HOME pleasuring HIMSELF...not like there was another woman there not like he was out trying to get booty. Let him know how you feel, but don't get too bent out of shape. If he becomes a pron addict THEN get pissed off!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  •  My answer is exactly what the first girl said but I think you also have to think that men think about sex way more than we do yes it makes us feel jealous they r not cheating.

    lovegigi

    Answer by lovegigi at 11:56 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Credits: 18 Level 3
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Matthew 5:27-29 (NASB) You have heard that it was said, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY." But I say to you than any man who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

    Does that give you the answer? lol

    Some people on here doesn't think THINK it's cheating but that doesn't mean it's not. If you feel in your heart it is wrong then it is, plain and simple. I would put up a parental block that blocks all websites like that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Regardless of what ANYONE says on here he did something behind your back with intentions of you not finding out and that is wrong. Porn can lead to bigger problems too, that's why I don't like it because I have heard so many stories of men who indulged in porn and decided to make their fantacies come true if you know what I mean. Ever heard of the book "Where the man goes the mind follows"? You might want to read it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Sep. 13, 2008

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0