What should I do if a bully won't leave my 9-year-old daughter alone?

This this bully and her followers follows my daughter everywhere. They say she is fat, ugly, does not comb her hair, smells, never takes a bath, is a babym trip her, kick her, make faces at her. She has been bullying my daughter since summer 2007. I told her to ignore this bully and walk away with her head up high. Betsy says I do mom but that does not work. I wish my daughter would beat the living crap out of her but that is not the right thing to do. We always taught our kids to defeating themselves only if the other person does something first. I tell my daughter to tell the teachers on duty she says she does but nothing happens. She has been scared to go to school cause of the bully. I have talked to the principal and nothing happens. We ever asked the bully what is your problem all she does is laugh and walk away. I do not know what else to do?????

SHARE THIS QUESTION:

Asked by taabjs at 2:35 PM on Sep. 22, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

0 Level 1

This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.

Answers (14)

It's time to go to the girls parents, go to her teachers and if the principal isn't doing something about it then go to the school board/ district. I'm sorry that you're daughter is being bullied. It's awful that this little girl can't find something better to do with her time then to pick on your daughter. Is it a possibility to move your daughter schools to get her away from this? I agree with your philosphy on "teaching your child to defend themselves only when attacked first" but I think the tripping is cause enough to become defensive.

Answer by bubblycute at 2:40 PM on Sep. 22, 2008
Credits: 1316 Level 13

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
If the principal is not addressing the problem you need to go to the school board. Bullying or 'bulldogging' here is an automatic 3 day suspension. You need to start documenting. Get a video camera, any notes, anyone who will write a statement. Advocate for her, no one else will.

Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:47 PM on Sep. 22, 2008
Credits: 37156 Level 28

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
I have had this problem with my sons as well. My oldest was being picked on badly. I told him we needed to pray for them. Alot of times when kids are bullying, its there way of reaching out. I found this with the kid that was bullying my oldest. We prayed for him, and through the next months following we found out that his dad was an alcoholic and very neglected. He ended up becoming my sons best friend, and we gave him the love and attention he needed. Not saying that its always that way, but I know prayer works! Also, I don't know where you live, but we have anti bullying law in our state. you could check into it. The school NEVER does anything!!! anyway,
hope this helps.

Answer by NewArmyMom2008 at 2:50 PM on Sep. 22, 2008
Credits: 0 Level 1

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
I have talked to the principal and there school board is a joke. We live 6 miles away from athe nearest town. I had her in an online school this year and she wanted to give the school another chance. So last Thursday we went back to school but that day it started all over again. On my profile I have a posting of the whole ordeal from summer of 2007 til now. So read it if you want the whole story. I do not even know Kalyee's parents or do not even know where she lives. I am planning to find out tho. I know thur the gossip that this girl and her sister were taking away from there parents childrens services took them twice but I do not know the reason why. Thanks for all the advice from the bottom of my heart. Any way I will keep you guys posted of what happens. Of all of you who gave advice thanks so much..

Answer by taabjs at 3:34 PM on Sep. 22, 2008
Credits: 0 Level 1

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
Not sure if this will help. I understand that you have taught your children not to fight. I also think that if you DD is outnumbered that she would get hurt. With that said, I think that she needs to stand up for herself. This girl is never going to leave her alone until she does.

If that does not work then and the school is not helping then i would go to the police. You can get a restraining order against the girl.

Sometimes these kids just need to see that they can not take advantage of someone else. Most times it is that they feel powerful because they are bullying someone. It also may be a situation like NewArmyMom2008 said. You just have to be careful because not all situation are the same and you want to make sure your DD is safe. Good Luck

Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:29 AM on Sep. 23, 2008
Credits: 16391 Level 23

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
Sweetie I really hate to say this but your baby has gotta stand up to this girl,you have to stand for something & if not for your own self worth then what? Keep everything wrote down you could also go to juvinal court at intake & take a warrant out on her i know thats extreme but it may just scare the piss outta this bully, something to think about ~

good luck dear

Answer by tntornado45 at 8:28 AM on Sep. 23, 2008
Credits: 62 Level 5

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
I agree she needs to stand up to her. I keep telling her that. In my mind I want to tell Betsy to beat the living snot out of Kaylee but that would not be the right thing to do. That it is ok to beat someone up. I talked to one of the teacher that is outside with the kids at there recesses she is very nice. She told me that Kaylee follows Betsy around during the whole time and does not leave her alone. Like I said I have the whole story in my journal on my profile if you guys want to know the whole story. Like yesterday Kaylee said to Betsy I like your top but your are still fat, ugly, you stink, your clothes are dumb. I asked Betsy what she did. Betsy told me she ignored Kaylee and walked off smiling. I said good. Thanks for all the advice.

Answer by taabjs at 11:52 AM on Sep. 23, 2008
Credits: 0 Level 1

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
You know my son when he was in 2 grade had a bully all during that school year. Then that summer the bully and my son John became the best friends of all til today. But my son's bully was worse tho he did contact to my son and punches him and other things. But now they are best buddies for life. My son is 13 now. I know Kaylee and her sisters were taken away twice that Children Services took them away but I do not know the reason why. Kaylee's sister are nice and the most loving girls except for Kaylee. I found out there a work shop thur a crisis center about Bully's and what to do. I am going to take Betsy to that and see if it is worth going to. You never know.

Answer by taabjs at 11:58 AM on Sep. 23, 2008
Credits: 0 Level 1

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
i would speak to the principal again. and let him know that you will not allow this behavior to continue. Ask him to set up a meeting in his office with the other girls parents. Tell him that if the situation doesn't improve you will go to the school board and the police, and if that failsthen you are going to the press. It's a shame but sometimes school officials don't want to do reports or anything else because it looks bad on the school. If they know that you are willing to see this through they are more likely to listen and do something.

Answer by ny.chica at 8:41 PM on Sep. 23, 2008
Credits: 0 Level 1

Votes up:0 Votes down:0
Tell the school if they do not help you resolve this matter with the other childs family imediately they will be hearing from your attorney. She has a right to an education like everyone else in this country. You get her there now it is the schools place to ensure she gets it.

Answer by salexander at 11:19 AM on Sep. 24, 2008
Credits: 28350 Level 26

Votes up:0 Votes down:0