2 Bumps

Why don't my stepkids listen to me?

If I explained the whole situation, I would run out of room. It's a very hard situation. He makes the rules , I enforce them, he breaks his own rules but i am left to deal with his kids who don't listen to me. When I bring up certain matters, I get told i don't know how to deal with his kids.It's not that i can't deal with< i feel like i am going through this alone. I love the kids but they don't listen and are out of control. He doesn't want to deal with reality.

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Sandi67

Asked by Sandi67 at 4:12 PM on Jun. 28, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (12)
  • simple your fresh meat lol your going thru your initiation with the kids. Your not mom your not dad and they want to see if you know all the rules yet they want to push boundaries and buttons to get you to break do not let them win. you need to step up and demand respect in your home from hubby and kids. if they don't listen to you follow thru on your punishment make the punishment fit the crime sort to speak. having hubby on my side was my greatest way to beat the kids at this mind game. You and hubby have to be united or at least show united front in front of the kids you can work out disagreements when the kids are not around.
    amanda_23

    Answer by amanda_23 at 1:39 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

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  • omg I have the same issue....my husband not making HIS kids mind and when I do make them mind we get into a huge ass fight...like last weekend his teen son is the lazyest kid I ever seen....go read my story its in my journal.You will see what I am talkin about and if you wanna be friends just add me I need friends thats in the same situation as me.....
    thismomrocks4

    Answer by thismomrocks4 at 7:18 PM on May. 5, 2010

    Credits: 13 Level 3
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  • Wow, it's like you took the words out of my mouth. i'm step-mom to two boys 13 and 11 who both live with us( their dad and I aren't married but been together for 6 years). The boys rotate chores mon.-fri. and it was the 13 turn. He has to do his laundry and get it put away before I let him go to his friends house. He went behind my back and asked his dad if he could just leave it on the line to finish later. His dad said that was fine. So the 13 tells me that he could go to his friends and I said no he had to finish the laundry, so there was a blow up. I talk to his dad and he didn't know what my rule and told me if he had he would have agreed with me. but later was mad at me for causeing tension in the house and that i should have just let his son go.I cried for several hours, so you are not alone I feel your pain. I may not have advise for you cause i'm going throught the same thing but I listen well PM me if you wanna vent.
    lilybug524

    Answer by lilybug524 at 12:28 PM on Aug. 18, 2009

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  • Its not a kid issue its a husband issue.
    Elizabeth075

    Answer by Elizabeth075 at 2:07 PM on May. 8, 2009

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  • I am haveing the same trouble. I am not sure what to do with my step children either. I hvae been married 5 years and the girls have never listened to me. things are getting worse now that they are 11 and 10. I enforce the rules and I get the brunt end of the whole deal. His exwife and her parents even blame me for things. it's like they run our life to and my husband lets them; and when i try to do something about it, things just blow up in my face and i am a horriable person.
    so please let me know if you figure out what to do cause you are not alone.
    1st_thyme_mom

    Answer by 1st_thyme_mom at 12:17 AM on Aug. 22, 2008

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  • It will take something big for their daddy to realize that there is a problem.So until they get in real trouble with someone outside of your home(and their daddy gets embarrased over it) not much will change.It took my sd stealing from the kid next door.And his daddy at our door step angry about it,Before my husband decided she needed discipine.You are in a loose loose position.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 2:16 PM on Jul. 28, 2008

    Credits: 2667 Level 16
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  • I am the stepmom to 5, 2 of my own. His children do not listen to you? You must all sit and discuss rules and consequences. Your hubby must impress upon his children that they are to listen to you when you are trying to enforce a rule or punishment. If that doesn't work, leave it up to him but do not ever let them disrespect you in your own home.
    MomOf2Stepmom5

    Answer by MomOf2Stepmom5 at 9:18 PM on Jun. 30, 2008

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  • Good point on calling mom for suggestions princezzmommie.
    AuntieVetta

    Answer by AuntieVetta at 1:34 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

    Credits: 6 Level 2
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  • family meeting. all of them, hubby included. and lay it out for them. if you are the one doing the rule enforcement, do it. don't ask for him and be sure to let them know that you will not be treated like that in your own house. you are not their mom but you are responsible for thier care when they are at your home and you need to be listened too. also..i don't know the situation but no one knows those kids better than the mom. if its possible, call her and ask her for her suggestions.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:20 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

    Credits: 214 Level 8
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  • You have to talk to your husband and come to some sort of agreement with the children. You do not want them to run all over you just because they think they can. talk to him and explain Respect comes first and tell him to stop blowing you off. It is important they know you Love them but rules are made sometimes Not To Be Broken.
    AuntieVetta

    Answer by AuntieVetta at 7:40 PM on Jun. 28, 2008

    Credits: 6 Level 2
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