How can I help my son deal with a bully at school?

Having a hard time helping my son deal with his bully. I was never that kid in school nor was a the kid to torture everyone else. Is anyone dealing with this? What type of advise are you offering your kid to get them through this. I would like for him to handle this because it's part of growing up and the older my children get the more I have to be there to guide them without doing it for them.


Asked by bettalisten at 11:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (13)
  • Sign him up for martial arts. He will learn self confidence and how to defend himself. I was bullied and teased until I graduated and it was awful. I homeschool my kids now, and they go to Tae Kwon Do on Monday nights to learn how to stand up for themselves and be more confident, because even though they're not in public school, there are bullies everywhere. I don't want them to throw the first punch, but I don't want them to get beat up either. If someone is messing with you, I think you have every right to defend yourself.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 5:43 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

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  • I know when my son had a problem with a bully he made sure his friends were with him. One day they kid would not leave him alone and my son and his friends stood up to the bully. Telling them to leave them alone. Another time my son got so mad he ended up hitting the kid back.

    When he hit the kid they both got in trouble at school, but the kid never bothered him again.

    I would tell your son to try and ignore it and if it gets really bad to talk to the adults. I would also see if he can try and stay with his friends at lunch and other times when he might be an easy target.

    It is never easy and I agree that you have to let your kids try to take care of things themselves. If it gets to far out of hand then I think I would step in.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:40 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

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  • I was that kid in school. I was suicidal by age 11. Now I am 31 and trust very few. My parents getting involved made it worse. If it ever happens with my son I will immediately pull him from the public school system. Way too much chance of perment mental damage.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 9:02 AM on Oct. 2, 2008

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  • well i was bullied it got so bad i stoped riding the bus to school and didnt go out much i agree with cornflakegirl3 just let him stand up for his self i wish i would have tell him there comes a time when you need to stand up for your self

    Answer by Mommyandreaof2 at 5:52 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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  • Teach him how to fight! Once a bully realizes that your son is the wrong one to mess with, he will move on. But also report the bully........once he is out of your hair, he will be in someone else's. Nothing wrong with teaching your kids to defend themselves and sometimes words don't work.

    Answer by jennymcbewbz at 9:14 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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  • I agree that you have to stand up for yourself but my situ is my special needs boy is being bullied by a girl in his mainstream class and she has now taken and broken his scooter and helmet (his transpo to school) I tried to go to the parents but they are worse bullies now the police are involved and we have to take them to small claims court. The father threatened to kill my DH after he asked for them to replace equipment.After cussing at me and threating my job with the school board.

    Answer by mom2priceboys at 9:23 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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  • 2 of my 3 kids have been dealing with this for years. I try to go to school and report it, but often times they placate me and do very little. I realize that it goes on often to many at school and it is hard for them to monitor it all, but still!!!

    Anyhow, I have tried to teach mine to ignore and walk away but that hasn't always worked out and sadly my very shy honor roll kid had enough of being picked on by one particular kid and kicked him (out of the blue) and got suspended for a day (this was just a couple of weeks ago. I was, as this child is very passive, but apparently he had had enough and it had been building up to the point that he exploded. I don't condone what he did, but then again, I didn't punish him much for it either as it was so out of the norm for this child and secretly I was kind of glad that he stood up for himself.

    Good luck - I do understand, only TOO well.

    Answer by Pauline03 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

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  • My daughter is having a problem with a bully at school, he keeps chasing her and raising his fist to her (she's small for age) and the school does nothing, her dad told her that if he does it again she is to stand her ground and if he goes to touch her to kick him in the balls.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:29 PM on Oct. 3, 2008

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  • I advised my daughter, who was having trouble with some older girl on the bus, the next time she does something mean to you, get in her face and say, in your meanest voice "You EVER do that again, and I'm gonn knock you out!" - it worked. Sometimes, a kid has to stand up for themselves. She also had problems with a boy smacking her butt on the playground. I alerted the principal and explained to him that my daughter now had permission to flatten the kid if he touched her again. He did, she slugged him - he's never bothered her again. The principal was pretty pissy, but I stood my ground and would not allow her to take the fallout.

    Answer by jjandjsmomma at 5:22 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

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  • I agree w/ cornflakegirl3!

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 1:38 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

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