• In the Spotlight:

How can I help my son who is ADHD and keeps getting in trouble at school?

I have tried medication and it did nothing for him except make him a totally different kid. His stomach always hurt and he was very emotional (more than usual). He wouldn't play with his friends and he would just sit in his room and do nothing. He was a totally different kid. He is a fast learner and gets good grades. He talks when he not suppose to, gets upset very easily, and cannot sit still. Everyday I've got a note sent home about his behavior. I have had several phone calls from his teacher and one from the principal. I have discussed that he has ADHD and his teacher informed me that she has 26 other students and she cannot give him special attention! I just wanted her to be aware and not think he was a bad kid. I hate that he has to get punished for something that he might not have any control over. Does anyone know of any books or sites I can go to for some helpful tips?


Asked by snpratt77 at 8:33 AM on Oct. 4, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

0 Level 1
This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (12)
  • I wish I knew what to tell you. My kids both have ADHD, so I know your frustration. However, the teacher does have a point. She has an entire classroom to teach, and she can't tailor her class to one particular child. Have you talked to his doctor about other treatment options? There are dietary changes, behavior modifications, lots of other options. I don't know what you have and haven't tried, so I may not be suggesting anything new. But I would talk to his doctor. If you have no other options to try, then my only other suggestion would that there is a federal law/regulation that provides that they have to give him some special allowances. I would check into that and see what they have to do, then meet with the school to find out how they need to accomplish that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Have you considered homeschooling him? My son also is adhd and we recently took his meds away for some of the side effects. I have done research about how boys learn and especially how adhd boys learn and that is just not how they teach in public school. I am in the process of gathering my curriculum and will be pulling him this month. If you have to leave him in ps for different circumstances you need to discuss with his teacher a behavioral plan and possible an IEP They have to work with him and you need to be involved with the process of making sure he is treated fairly. I hope this helps and you may want to look in to homeschooling if it is an option for you.

    Answer by SusanReeves at 11:00 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Credits: 19 Level 3
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • First of all, I am not always pro-medication but it sounds like his dose might have been too high. Sometimes it takes a while working with the doc on doses any types of meds before you find what will work for him.

    If you choose not to meds he can still be successful.  Another tactic is work on his diet.  ADHD kids on controlled diets often improve more than those on meds.

    Most importantly, he must understand that even with ADHD he is still accountable for his actions.  Set up a behavior with him and his teacher.  Target specific behaviors that need to change and set goals with him.  Let him choose rewards and consequences. 


    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 11:36 AM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Credits: 13 Level 2
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • My son has AD/HD. What kind of meds has your son been? My son is just startied Vyanance,
    he was on Adderall xr15, worked great. His doctor is trying to get his pt's on the Vyanance. So far i'm not crazy about it, i'm going to wait until the end of the month, and then decide if i want him back on Adderall. If you would like to talk more just let me know. I understand how hard it is.

    Answer by MYBABES0804 at 1:20 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Credits: 3 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I am only suggesting this because on of my friend has a child with ADHD, and she tried medication, which didn't work good-and then stopped trying medication all together. Have you really tried to work with the doctor over different kinds of meds, at different doses or combinations? And don't go to a pediatrician-go to a child psch doc. They are professionals, and know what to do. My sister went that route, and her son is doing very well, compared to my friends son, who is very unhappy. No matter what tho-keep on it.  Your son is not happy, by the sounds of it.  Don't rob him of a successful childhood.  It can be done.  I know your son is a great kid, he just needs special attention. And lots of it.


    Answer by McGregor at 9:52 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • How about a Theraputic Support Staff or TSS who would come into the classroom and work with him to control those behaviors. You would need to contact your doc and they should point you in the right direction. This would help the teacher to work with the other students and help him without meds.

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 9:56 PM on Oct. 4, 2008

    Credits: 3 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • You might need to look into your areas special education system and what is available for him there. Often regular ed schools are reluctant to pursue SPED as they loose the money from that student but your son is suffering for their buck so you need to go for it.

    In a SPED class he would be with others with similar problems and a teacher that is equipped to deal with them. S/he would have coping skills for all the difference in the kids.

    However, and this is a big however, some SPED programs aren't what they should be and ADHD kids that have behavior challenges can be put into the same classes rooms as kid that act up from circumstance at home making the school a whole mine field of things your son would never ever have been exposed to in life without going there.

    So you need to take the steps to find out what is out there and what it is like in your area. Best of luck to you but you are your son's only champion.

    Answer by toonew2two at 12:35 AM on Oct. 5, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • If he does not have an IEP already then I suggest that you write a letter to the school requesting one. It is obvious that his education is affected by his disability. My son has ADHD, cognitive disorder, and possible bipolar. He started kindergarten where he has severe behavior issues. I just got him an IEP.

    Answer by jlemaycox at 6:12 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • My 10 yr. old son has ADHD & ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) so I totally know how feel & what ur going thru as far as the phone calls & notes bc my son has the same issues. We also set him up w/ a social worker where he recieves behavioral counseling & it seems 2 work bc he knows it's a "Safe Place" where he can talk about his feelings, thoughts or whatever is on his mind. Also, his dad & I sumx sit in. And ur right ,children don't have 100% control of these conditions all the time. Also, there is a group on here 4 parents of children w/ ADHD. I can't remember the exact name but u can look it up. Good luck & if u ever want 2 talk, send me a message. I'd b more than happy 2 offer ne advice I think would help. And 4 u, give him a big hug & kiss, tell him u love him, ur going 2 do what u can 2 help him get thru this & that things will b ok bc it's really important that he know & feel that he can count on u.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:45 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

    Credits: 166 Level 7
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I looked it up. It's called ADHD & us. Good luck & hang in there!!!!

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 11:50 PM on Oct. 5, 2008

    Credits: 166 Level 7
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0