Should I stay with my husband if he is having an affair?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 9, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • I wouldnt stay for the kids, you have to stay for yourself. If thats whats going to make you happy. because in the long run if you arent happy your kids will sense that and it will really screw them up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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  • I 100% agree with the above person. Never stay for the kids. They need a completly happy mommy.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 11:04 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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  • Actually, research has shown that if two parents can live together amicably, it's better for the children. It's less traumatizing for them that way vs having the family break up.

    However, that type of situation is rare. Both parents would have to be 100% on board with the arrangements, the "break-up" would have to be mutual, and there would have to be a commitment to maintain the family and to be cordial, friendly, respectful and thoughtful of each other.

    I don't really see that happening in most cases.
    ClownPleco

    Answer by ClownPleco at 11:13 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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  • I don't see being in a relationship JUST for the kids being best for them at all. Kids are smart and will see right through that. I think that you should sit and talk with your husband, and if that still doesn't work, then you should do whatever you feel is best for you. An unhappy mom will have unhappy kids.
    Marisa940

    Answer by Marisa940 at 11:16 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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  • i feel for you im going through the same thing right now and like you im not sure what to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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  • give him an ultimatum. with that many kids you'd think he'd be committed. emotionals are still affairs, sex or not. men are kinda stupid sometimes, small words. i'm not chastising him or you, but sometimes men need a direct face to face simple this is how it is/will be talking to. its not right what he's doing and he needs to know that.
    imanixon2

    Answer by imanixon2 at 11:41 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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  • give him an ultimatum, them or me and the kids. then go get therapy. he needs help to get over that and change his way of thinking. i wouldn't leave just yet for the kids sake. you try your best to work it out for your kids sake and after all that could be done and no changes then leave. your marriage vows should stand for something in some way if even for a short time. you owe it to your kids first for most and always cause in the end they will suffer more then YOU or YOUR HUSBAND!
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:20 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • NEVER stay for the kids sake. If y'all fuss and argue and the kids see it. It is NEVER good for the children.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 12:26 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • Ask yourself what would you tell your daughter to do if she came to you with the same question??? Honestly don't stay in an unhappy or dsyfuctional marriage for the kids. it's not healthy for them, they will know you are not happy and think about what that teaches your kids about marriage and relationships. Would you want your children to stay in an unhappy marriage??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • Emotional affairs? You mean your husband talks to other women? When did that become a crime? If he isn't sleeping around and having a REAL affair, you have nothing to worry about. Men CAN have female friends who are JUST friends. Men CAN confde in their female friends just as they would with their male friends. Give the guy a break. You have three kids and one on the way.. that tells me he is sleeping with YOU. Be sure of what you are accusing him of before accusing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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