What happens to your sex life after you give birth?

I am just nervous about how giving birth vaginally will affect my sexual relationship wtih me and my husband. He made a comment the other day. I said, "Did you know that you can't have sex for about 6 weeks after the birth?" and he said, "Thats ok, I doubt I'll want to anyway". But I don't really know what that meant. He is all about sex now though, I'm not really showing much and I'm at 17 wks and 3 days. He can tell and I can but no one else. But he still seems just as interested in me which is good. I 'm just so worried how it will be afterwards. I know I will need those 6 weeks but what about after that?

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HayleyGM

Asked by HayleyGM at 9:41 AM on Oct. 10, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (10)
  • Don't stress too much. If his comment bothered you, I would say something like, "What did you mean by what you said the other day? I'm just curious b/c you still like sex now...." and see what his response is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • i had a c-section but even after my 4 weeks that i had to wait for the ok to have sex, we were both so tired all the time we didnt even want to. the baby was just so more important than sex. but after things settled down, our sex life is better than before baby. and things started to get back to normall when my son was about 3 months old.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • My DH and I's sex life improved by leaps and bounds. ( if u can't tell - we are having our 5th baby =D ) and it was always really great. There is just something about the intimacy of creating a new life together and really feeling like a family and not just a couple that really put us in the mood. We never even made it to 6 weeks. We resumed relations everytime - whenever I felt good enough, usually around 3 wks postpartum. But don't use me as a judge for urself - every woman is different and every labor and delivery is different. You may need 6 wks or u may need 12 wks or u may want it as soon as possible. It also depends on your hormones pp and your baby. If u have a very demanding baby or one that doesn't sleep well, that will dampen things for you too. Good Luck
    mommyof5boys543

    Answer by mommyof5boys543 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • he probably just doesnt want to make you feel bad for not being able to. i tried 2 months after and it still hurt. you can get torn inside and it needs to heal. there are other intimate things you can do, simply laying naked together is good, skin to skin contact is very important....remember that for your baby too, touching them is good for their development.
    imanixon2

    Answer by imanixon2 at 2:31 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • Well men are generally freaked out by a huge baby coming out and stretching your vagina...So that's probally why he said it...But don't worry it will be just as good if not better after the 6 weeks. My husband was afraid it was going to be a big black hole lol...But he liked it even more when we did it after birth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:28 PM on Oct. 10, 2008

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  • To be frank.. "it goes down the hill"... but you can get it back. Usually it is because you are so busy with baby that Sex WILL ( and should) get put on the back burner for a while... but if you two can work together and hang on eventually your sex life can be fantastic again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on May. 27, 2009

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  • WELL AFTER U GIVE BIRTH U CAN DO KEGAL EXCERSIZES, & IT REALLY DNT CAHNGE FOR ME & MY MAN IT WAS EVEN BETTER SINCE THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS HAD TO BE QUICK, & R UNCOMFORATABLE CUZ OF THE BIG BELLY. ITS JUST AS GOOD IF NOT BETTER.
    Mrs.Ferri

    Answer by Mrs.Ferri at 12:49 AM on Dec. 27, 2009

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  • We resumed after just 4 weeks and were fine, a bit sore - but fine. And as most of the ladies said, it got better after kids. My dad told me, it takes guys a while to get the image of childbirth out of their heads, so I didn't MAKE my Hubby be in the room @ birth. He was in and out as he pleased. And that might have helped him when it was time to start "getting down" again. As for the baby getting in the way, that's not an issue (unless you have a colacky baby, in which case you might be exausted) but other than that, they DO sleep, so if you're willing to be flexible about WHEN to have sex, you should be back on schedule before long ;-)
    Keep in mind women are different, and 4 weeks is very early, it may be more for you, (after our 2nd. we waited 6) wait till you're ready and see how it feels. But know that once you are, it will be just as pleasurable for you AND HIM after birth as before, if not more -- don't worry ;-)
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 10:14 PM on Feb. 13, 2010

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  • my husband and i had a fantastic sex life of atleast sex twice a day. after my daughter was born we still have sex atleast once a day but if she's up way late at night we normally pass on sex til morning. we still have sex twice a day on a fairly regular basis so it hasn't changed too much and my daughter is only 8 months right now so she's still a baby.
    2sdayDayli

    Answer by 2sdayDayli at 7:00 PM on Mar. 25, 2010

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  • dont worry it will be ok my SO freaked out after he saw the brith and everythign so he did wait the 6 weeks adn everythign but after the 6 weeks it went back to normal and after my second pregnancy i had to literally decided to take a shower when he would go to bed so by the time i was done showering he was sleeping. yeah he just didnt want to wait those 6 weeks lol so he might freak out after the birth but nothing out of usually he will go back to normal and everyhtign will be awesome
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 10:24 AM on Jul. 15, 2010

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