What should I do if my toddler won't listen?

My daughter just does whatever she wants and no punishment works. Time out doesn't work, spanking doesn't work, yelling doesn't work. She'll cry and get upset for all of 2 seconds and then go right back to what she originally got in trouble for doing. I need help.

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carjasmom

Asked by carjasmom at 9:57 PM on Oct. 13, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (14)
  • Have you been consistent in punishing her up to this point? If not, than this is all new to her, and of course she will lash out and get upset. The most important thing is consistency.
    gumby11883

    Answer by gumby11883 at 10:01 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • I thought that I was being consistent, but I've stepped it up a notch because I feel that she's just been out of control lately. She won't potty train, but that's not even the problem. It's the constant fighting with me, yelling NO at me when I tell her to do something, like sit on the potty or clean up her toys. She is constantly dropping the F bomb and I told her a millions times not to say that word. She said it earlier and I told her if she says it again, I'm washing her mouth out with soap. Well, she said it and I put the bar of soap in her mouth. She didn't even flinch. Then, my husband got mad at me. It's a no-win situation. He agrees that she's acting very bad, but then he tells me I'm too harsh with my punishments.
    carjasmom

    Answer by carjasmom at 10:05 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • Try going over the top praising her when you see her doing something good.......she may just forget about some of the bad behaviors and start trying to win some GOOD attention!

    You could even get a poster board to give her a sticker when she does extraordinarily well! Kids love stickers!
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:08 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • If your hubby isn't helping with the punishing, than that's not helping you. If he feels that the punishment is to harsh, than you can ask what he would do in the situation. I can't say that I ever really had problems with my daughter, mostly because we were very consistent and started punishment early (around 1). When she did act up, we put her in the corner with her hands behind her back (just enough to make it uncomfortable, but not enough to hurt her). If she was touching something she shouldn't have been, we would slap her hand and tell her "no". If she told us no, she would be sent to the corner for talking back.
    gumby11883

    Answer by gumby11883 at 10:12 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • Some children go back to bad behaviors because they don't know what to do instead. Like when you say No, don't do that...they think, there's nothing else to do. It's like they get stuck. Try using direct commands instead of words like No and Stop.. For example: Instead of saying "Stop throwing your toys" say "Put your toys down gently".....or instead of "NO hitting" say "Keep your hands to your self" I've seen it work for some kids.....might be worth a try.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 10:41 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • Thanks everyone for your help. These are good suggestions that I will try to implement. Off to bed now, long day today and hopefully not another tomorrow, but I have to rest up just in case...
    carjasmom

    Answer by carjasmom at 10:46 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • Perhaps it is the punishments themselves that are not working, Have you tried the timeout method. I tried spanking my daughter and she laughed at me but she is perfect if i say do you want a time out? I give her a warning hten if she continues, i put her in timeout, but consistency is key. if she curses, auto time out...period in my house. But also let her know what the rules are. Let her know that you can't yell at mommy, that cursing is inappropriate, and that she is going to be disciplined everytime for this behavior.
    KEHMom

    Answer by KEHMom at 10:59 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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  • i've found that most kids act out because they don't know what else to do. if you teach them how to behave in a way that is appropriate and praise them (i mean make a really big deal about it, but don't give them sweets since they'll always expect that) then they will continue to do waht makes u happy. i told the same thing to my sis who has a two yr old and his behavior has completly changed from being a little monster to a kid that is more calm and obediant. and remember that u have to be consistent, firm and caring all of the time. they are ALWAYS watching you and taking notes so if you act a certain way, they'll do it too and if your attention is on something other than watch you're doing with them, they'll know it. good luck.
    prooouuudmommy

    Answer by prooouuudmommy at 12:16 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

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  • i agree with the praise thing. give her praise when she's good so maybe when she is doing something bad and you punish her she will understand that she isnt getting praises for it .
    nikki-blu

    Answer by nikki-blu at 2:03 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

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  • It's tough. In our house the rules go as follows:
    There is a warning
    Then a time out
    If neither of those work then she looses a privelidge. Either a favourite toy, activity etc.
    It stinks when they don't listen and can be very trying, stay strong, stay calm and try your best to be consistent. We are doing this with our almost 3 year old girl and it's working. My son is 4 and he now knows about consiquences and privelidges.
    btw try not to spank in anger. We spank in our house only in the most extreme cases and the parent MUST be calm when doing it.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 3:54 AM on Oct. 14, 2008

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