• In the Spotlight:

How do I deal with the stress of a new baby who won't sleep at night?

my son is 5 days old and wonderful during the day. we already have a pattern. but at night, he's fussy, constantly wants to eat and wont go to sleep unless your holding him. my husband and i are starting to lose it. help!!

  • SHARE THIS QUESTION:
jewels912

Asked by jewels912 at 10:53 AM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

0 Level 1
This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (19)
  • Is he alone in the crib? I mean, does he have any sounds in the room with him? We put a heartbeat bear in with our daughter and she slept like a log from day one. They are used to all sorts of noises from when they were inside you and it is VERY quiet in a home compared to that. My daughter will be 2 this month and she still uses her heartbeat bear. When she wakes up, she'll knock into him to turn him on. She did this from a very young age, also. Plus, he is activated by sound so any noise she made as an infant turned him on.

    I hope this helps.
    tulip40in05

    Answer by tulip40in05 at 10:56 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • well, thats the joy of being a new mommy :) its really hard, and the only way that i got mt daughter to sleep was if she fell asleep on my chest, if u are breastfeeding thats easy, because after you feed him, you burp him and then just lay there with him. It was hard for me to put her in her own bed, because all she wanted was me. so try falling asleep with him on your chest or in your arms until hes a lil older, he really just wants to be next to his mommy, hes been right next to you for 9 months, hes not ready to let go yet :)
    ddsmommi

    Answer by ddsmommi at 10:57 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Do you have a recliner rocker? Try reclining it while holding him, just for a few nights. My son was the same way. The best thing to do is cut out all the possibilies of something being wrong first: is he colicy? Can he breathe? Is he too hot? Is he too cold? Is he comfy? What helps him sleep? Try every thing necesary to calm him before bedtime: bath and lotion, dim lights, soft voices, a full belly, warm blankets, a pacifier...after you've done this, if he's still whiney, it may just be that he's going to be what they call a "hard" baby. Meaning, he will need more from you than usual. It will not spoil your child to hold them, ever! It provides them security and trust when you tend to their needs, including mentally, not just physically. The reason I suggested the recliner is so you can hold him and get some sleep too; there's too much of a risk to have a baby in the bed with you. Good Luck, and if you need anything else, just send me a message. I'm a marriage and family counselor.
    snowmom24

    Answer by snowmom24 at 11:01 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Do you have a bassinet right next to your bed? 5 days is pretty young to be a room all by himself. I found with both my girls that the closer they were to me the better they slept.
    Gretae

    Answer by Gretae at 11:01 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • we do have a bassinet in our room and he's fine with it during the day. the tv is on though. will leaving the tv on at night help or will the lights just make is worse?? i love him so much, i just wish i could get him to nap at night like he does during the day. two hours at a time is fine with me. he'll sleep for three hours sometimes during the day.
    jewels912

    Answer by jewels912 at 11:09 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I hate to tell you this, but this is normal.
    Most babies don't sleep for 5 hours in a row until around 4 months.
    Most don't sleep for 8 hours until 8 months or so.
    Most don't sleep from bedtime until morning until after they are 1.

    Make sure you take naps whenever you can. Housework can wait.
    If possible, take turns with your DH... you take a night, he takes a night. You'll both be awakened but it helps when you don't have to get up and function every night.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:30 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 129 Level 6
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • It is really common for newborns to have their nights and days switched at first. My son did not really sleep through the night until he was 4 months old. Things that helped were to have a bedtime routine. We simply read him a book and said a prayer when we put him to bed. Eventually he will take this as a cue that it is sleeping time. We did leave the tv on and it seemed to help. Any kind of white noise is good low tv static, a fan etc. He also slept in his swing (fisher price papasan swing) quite a few nights. It seemed no matter what I did he would either end up falling asleep in my arms all night or in the swing when I would finally collapse from exhaustion. Another thing that helped was a sleep positioner. We found a wedge that had the positioner on the sides. He liked having something close around him but he hated being swaddled. Hope you find something that works for you.
    rasbneon

    Answer by rasbneon at 11:34 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • lol WELCOME TO MOMMY HOOD!! thats what everybody told me when i first had mine just drink alot of coffee and wait till hes ready because he sure aint gonna do it on ur time hes gonna be off bablance for several months so stock up on coffee
    ShYmAmA08

    Answer by ShYmAmA08 at 11:46 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Get this book "On Becoming Babywise" by Dr.Gary Ezzo. I know some will get their panties in a bunch about it and don't like the Babywise method but it worked for me and several of my friends and helped keep me from losing my sanity.You can get it from half.com.Until the 6-8 week mark when most babies start sleeping through the night using the Babywise method, sleep when the baby sleeps, don't worry about the housework, if anyone offers to cook you a meal or do a load of laundry for you, take them up on it. Welcome to motherhood!! I'll tell you what my mom told me when I was going through the up all night phase with a colicky newborn who screamed from 2-5 am every night: This too shall pass.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 12:53 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 20230 Level 24
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • I suggest a passifier, I don't know if you give him one, but at night, the first days, he's gonna wake, but I got my daughters to sleep through the night as early as 4 wks, so yea...ure in for a month of no sleep. that's why they say nap when he naps. Keep him in his bassinet on ure sid eof the bed and when he starts waking, quickly give him the binky, try to pat him down to fall asleep again, if he fully wakes, well then hurry and give him a bottle or breastfeed, try not to play with him or turn the lights on so he'll get in the groove of it's time to go back to sleep. BUT IT AIN'T HAPPENING WITHIN THE FIRST WEEK, GOOD LUCK AND ENJOY!!!
    3gurlsmom

    Answer by 3gurlsmom at 1:37 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0