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Should I spank my child or not?

I have a 14 month old that likes to explore things all the time. She touches everything and anything. I was taught NO SPANKING. I still believe in no spanking. People are always telling me i need to spank her. I try to tell them I will do what I feel is right. They don't seem to understand!! They also think its ok for them to spank her. I do not trust them when I am not around so, I never leave my daughter with them. ANY ADVICE????

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chrstny88

Asked by chrstny88 at 7:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (26)
  • While I do believe in spanking, I DON'T believe beating. I have a 7, 3 and 4mnth old. My older kids are well behaved. I have never laid a hand on my children out of anger. Not every lil disciplinary issue requires a spanking. Some need time out, toys taken away or just a firm no. I started at about 1y with pops on the hand. I really believe the trick it consistancy. By the time my kids were 2 they really didn't need lil pops anymore. And to this day, all I have to do it look at them and they understand. On VERY RARE occasions, I may have to spank the older ones and that is only for actions that are disrespectful and hurtful. My kids also know that I respect them. I love them and I will always protect them. If your going to spank, you have to do it in the right frame of mind. This is such a touchy issue but I believe, if done right, it can be a good thing and it doesn't harm them. Like i said, if done right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:54 AM on Mar. 2, 2010

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  • I don't believe in spanking, though I have given my 21 month old a quick tap to get her attention but a tap not a swat. I don't beileve in the counting method my mother did it for us and well you just learn to tune it out, yelling doesn't solve anything either. My daughter has got to the point of not wanting to listen, she too loves to explore and touch everything. The way that we handle it is we talk to her as though I was talking to anyone else, I don't necessarily use small words. I make her stop, look me straight in the eyes ( get down to her level on my knees) and I tell her either not to do it, ask her if she is allowed to then explain to her why we don't want her to touch them. There is always a reason for the answer "no" whether it is dangerous for her, too late for sweets, or too cold outside, or just because mom is tired and doesn't have enough energy to chase her there is always a reason.
    skinnykate

    Answer by skinnykate at 3:44 PM on Feb. 3, 2010

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  • yeah your child is too young to understand
    and im all for spanking, but its just way to early for it. if shes getting into everything and doesn't understand what yes and no are, then sit her down and talk at her about " hunny this is not a toy" she wont get it for a while, but it comes with time. if you dont want to spank, then you have to get to her eye level and tell her in a stern voice not to touch.

    Lakoia

    Answer by Lakoia at 7:38 PM on Jan. 2, 2010

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  • I didn't belive in spanking at first, but my 18 month old has had some serious bad behavior, so I tried spanking briefly. It made me feel like a bad mom, and question myself. So now I decided I will no longer spank.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Sep. 16, 2009

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  • It seems that you have already decided not to spank. Technically, if they spank her, you could have them arrested for assault. I think that you are making a good decision for them to not watch her. If they can't respect your authority as parent on this issue, what else are they going to ignore?
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 3:26 PM on Feb. 28, 2009

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  • Okay, me and my husband have shifts with our son. Meaning I take him from 8am til 5pm and hubby gets him at 5pm til 8am it works for us, anyways my husband spanked him no problem. My son adored his daddy. So today he did something and I spanked him for it all night he wants me! I am not crazy about it or anything but I do think he will listen better. You do what you feel is the right thing to do. My son is almost three BTW!
    ilovexzavier

    Answer by ilovexzavier at 5:26 AM on Feb. 15, 2009

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  • In my opinion she is too young to be spanked, but maybe if she is touching something she shouldnt be touching, a firm voice, and if neccisary a tap on the hand. I would not let my family spank my daughter, unless they had my permission first, but for me, spanking is a worst case scenario where all other options have not worked. Personally I am pro spanking, but you cant let someone else tell you that it is or isnt okay to spank your child. If you are not comfortable with it then you dont do it, and you find alternative punishment; there is nothing wrong with that, its your choice. Never let someone make you feel like you have to do something you are not comfortable with.
    barefootbchbum

    Answer by barefootbchbum at 12:55 PM on Jan. 16, 2009

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  • IT'S UP TO YOU! I personally think that one good pop on the diaper or hand gets there attention enough to associate that object or action with an owy or a mad mommy, etc.. For instance when my oldest started exploring and getting into things she shouldn't I'd start off and pop her hand tell her "NO!" move her to were she COULD play, usually worked. When it didn't she'd get a pop on the butt and a more firm "NO!" or "OWY!". IF there was a third she was just set in her crib. It's horrible SOUNDING but I have not delt with more than two good tantrums and now she listens almost IMMEDIATELY.
    watersgirls

    Answer by watersgirls at 2:08 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • Well, I would never spank someone elses Child. Me personaly I'm a firm believer in spanking. Mostly only if they do something that can hurt themselves or someone else or if they are very disrespectful to someone. But, if you don't want to spank your child that is your right as her mother to make that choice. Honestly. I bet they would not spank her for fear that she would tell you they did. Unless it has happened before. What about time out? Just tell them that you are trying something new and if she does something that could HURT herself or someone else that she has to sit in the time out chair for a few minutes? I know a lot of mothers who do that! ;0) There is lots of things you can do besides spanking. Come up with your own rule that you are ok with and let them know it. Its a thought ;0)
    smarie1011

    Answer by smarie1011 at 9:13 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

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  • Keep in mind that younger children don't understand abstract ideas so warnings and 'you could get hurt' speeches don't help as much. Do keep up with that b/c she will learn, but she may need a little more than just "no". With my daughter, I pat her bottom then sit her on the floor. She doesn't cry. I'm not hurting her at all -- espcially with that thick diaper on there! I"m just getting her attention and trying to get her used to the idea of time out. Now I'm starting to just sit her down without the touch and hold her in place, again to reinforce the time out idea. The only time I really spank is if what she is doing is dangerous and I need her to get the message FAST! LIke running into the street. BUt I do the same spank the diaper and sit her down where the limit is. Encourage your family/freinds to try the time outs
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

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