3 Bumps

Should I spank my child or not?

I have a 14 month old that likes to explore things all the time. She touches everything and anything. I was taught NO SPANKING. I still believe in no spanking. People are always telling me i need to spank her. I try to tell them I will do what I feel is right. They don't seem to understand!! They also think its ok for them to spank her. I do not trust them when I am not around so, I never leave my daughter with them. ANY ADVICE????

  • SHARE THIS QUESTION:
chrstny88

Asked by chrstny88 at 7:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

9613 Level 20
This question is closed and filed in the CafeMom Encyclopedia.
Answers (26)
  • Tell them to get the f*** away from your child.

    Your daughter is WAY too young to understand whats going on when she gets spanked. She probably understands what yes and no means, but she will def. not understand the spanking.

    Other than that - I despise spanking a child more than anything else. I do never spank my daughter (15months old). My parents NEVER used to spank me or my brother, and we both turned out being very good kids/teenagers and now adults.

    Talking to your child helps more. And your child is still learning so much. She is exploring everything. If you tell her no, then she will be afraid of everything. She needs to explore. Tell her no over and over and over again until she will understand it.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:10 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 45 Level 4
    Votes up:1 Votes down:0
  • If you choose to not spank your child that is your decision. No one...and I mean no one has a right to put their hands on your child. If it is a family member taking this liberty...you need to tell them that you don't spank and they don't spank your child either. This will be a hard boundry to set, but that is what parenting is all about. It is a hard job. If you don't stand up for your children, who will?
    14 months is a bit young to spank, even if you choose to do so. Leaving your child with someone who does this and does not respect your decisions, Well, this may have to change. Either they play by your rules ...or they don't play at all. Your the boss!
    Good luck and take care !
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 7:14 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 23 Level 3
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Spanking is a personal choice. You've chosen not to do it, so make that clear to everyone around you. Even if you have to announce as you walk through the door at events, "I do not spank, and you are not to spank my daughter!", do it. Personally, I do spank(however, my kids are older), and allow select family members to do so if they deem it needed. However, I would never presume to spank someone else's child unless given express permission by the parent, and even then, I'd be wary. I think it's very disrespectful that your family/friends/complete strangers are spanking her, whether you've told them you don't spank or not. Stand up for yourself and your daughter and don't let them ignore you. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:28 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 155 Level 7
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • You do what you feel you need to do. It's your child and only you can answer that. Personally, I spanked... not often, but my kids learned right from wrong. My SIL believed in the counting method and her children walked all over her. It's your decision though....
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 7:35 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 19 Level 3
    Votes up:1 Votes down:0
  • In my opinion she is too young to spank. She won't understand.
    myboogiewoogie

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 7:40 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 6 Level 2
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • Do what you feel is right, and if you do leave her with someone make sure it is CLEAR how you want her to be disciplined. I would be pissed if someone did something to my daughter that i didn't want them doing!

    Us personally, we spank. I think it is the most effective right now. My daughter is 15 months. If she is climbing on something or not listening, we tell her no or get down whatever... after telling her two times the third time we tell her and give her a spank on her butt. If she is touching something she shouldn't be, i give her two warnings... then i smack her hand the third time.
    Klynn-whitlow

    Answer by Klynn-whitlow at 7:45 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 121 Level 6
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • You have to do whatever works for you... My 14 month old is a little boy, so he is a little tougher and I do spank him. Not hard or anything, I use to do the whole "hand slap" ya that didn't faze him one bit so I spank his butt, he has a diaper on.. And Social Services will tell you it is okay to do as long as you use your hand and only hit the butt... Its not abusing them. It honestly hurts there feelings more than anything...
    stasia4

    Answer by stasia4 at 8:44 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • i-spank-my-15-month-twins!!!----its-your-choice
    mama2twins07

    Answer by mama2twins07 at 10:04 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 305 Level 9
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • It is your decision and what you think is best for your child. We spank, my son is almost 21 months, and he only gets a spanking, if he has been told not to do something several times and he still isnt listening. And I think at their age, it isnt the "hurt" factor (it shouldnt hurt them) it is more or less the noise when you spank over the diaper that scares them.
    BoobiePrize

    Answer by BoobiePrize at 10:05 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

    Credits: 0 Level 1
    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
  • i disagree w/ physical discipline altogether. but even for those who are ok with it, 18mos is the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM for that kind of stuff. they just cant comprehend why they're being hit before that. as for people who think they can touch your child, slap them across the face. then let them know you have as much right to do it as they do to hit your kid (none, but you'd be making a point). you're right not to trust people. many people think babysitting means they can do as they please. i thought parents left their kids w/ people who'd follow their wishes. but maybe i'm just crazy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Oct. 23, 2008

    Votes up:0 Votes down:0
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN