Should I tell my toddler she was adopted?

I'm a single Mom to 1 Foster child that I've had since she was 10 days old. She has the right to know her story. I will tell her life story, but when is the right time ? I'm going through the " Adoption " Process now. I have no biological children, and becoing a Foster Parent was one of the best decisions I've made. I have Lots of Love & always wanted children of my own. God chose this path for me.


Asked by fostermom604 at 5:21 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Adoption

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Answers (11)
  • I dont think you should tell your child untill their old enough to fully understand. Unless their a differnt race and they ask why your one color and their not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • Hmm...I think it's a personal decision that could vary from child to child. I think if I had an adopted child I'd tell them when they were old enough to really understand, IE around ten or eleven. I think if you tell them when they're four or five they won't understand, but if you wait until they're eighteen they might wonder why you waited so long to tell them.

    I think you should just wait until you're comfortable with it. You're a great person for adopting a baby =]

    Answer by caitxrawks at 5:29 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • I am adopted and my mother told me I was adopted from the day she brought me home (3 days old) there was never any confusion, she would tell me I was special because she got to pick me. Coming from an adopted person's point of view, I believe if my mom would have waited until I was ten or eleven it would have really hurt me. I would have believed my entire life was a lie and that adoption is something shameful you need to hide.

    Answer by MaddisonsMomma at 5:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • same for me maddisonsmomma, i was brought home at 3 days old and was told from then... so i always knew.

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 5:39 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • If it is something the child always knows it is something they can take as matter of fact, such as he has blue eyes or brown hair, nothing spectacular or secret about it.

    Answer by pagan_mama at 5:46 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • I agree with the people who said don't make it a secret, just let you child know right off the bat. It isn't something that needs to be kept a secret, but if you treat it like a secret then it will seem like a scandal.

    I'm not adopted and haven't adopted a child, but one of my good friends is adopted and she recommends telling children early, which is why I feel that way. :-)

    Answer by degsyuna at 6:35 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • I want to Thank everyone for answering my Question. This is something I've been really struggling with for a very long time, amoung other things with this Adoption. I will take take everything thats been said to heart.

    Answer by fostermom604 at 9:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • I am one of 3 adoptees in my family. I was the third child adopted. My parents got all of us as babies. They didn't tell my oldest sister until she was 8, and they only told her because they adopted my second sister, and she was asking questions. It was a nightmare. She was sooooo mad for then not having told her before. She was angry and thought they wre liars. It took her a while, but then she got over it. So they learned their lesson and told my other sister (and eventually me) that we were adopted as soon as we asked where we came from. My sister asked when she was 3-4, but I didn't ask until I was almost 6. Each time, both my folks sat down with us and explained the story. I grew up knowing it, and being proud of it! :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • My first son was adopted b/c I was only 15. His parents have always told him that he was adopted and he has never resented it or questioned it. He is 11 now and we have a fabulous relationship. But, our situation worked out to have an open adoption, so he and I have still been apart of each others lives.

    Answer by angeladh82 at 9:28 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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  • Start now! I didnt find out til i was 13 that my dad was not my real dad.I was crushed.It hurt even more that they kept it from me.


    Answer by ryanlynn at 10:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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